


Insurgency

by erynwen



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Mirror Universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-21
Updated: 2013-11-21
Packaged: 2018-01-02 06:05:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1053381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/erynwen/pseuds/erynwen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the Terran Empire, Leonard McCoy tries to keep a low profile as the Empire is on the look for him. When things get hot, Jim Kirk, rebel against the Empire, takes him where he never wanted to go – to space.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This started off as a Firefly fusion (well, actually it was The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, but that’s a completely different story), so any resemblances are totally intentional. Mirrorverse warnings apply, but nothing too graphic, I hope ^^  
> Oh, and I have been reading Marvel comics a lot lately, so this could have had an influence on me. Slightly.  
> [Siluria](http://siluria.livejournal.com/) is one awesome beta, and I’m glad she did all the work to make this story readable.  
> [dark_oracle_ran](http://dark-oracle-ran.livejournal.com/) is the best alpha-reader and cheerleader in this world, and deserves a medal for listening to me whine ^^  
> A massive thank you goes to [ tresa_cho](http://tresa-cho.dreamwidth.org/) for the awesome art and mix she did even though she was sick. I love her endlessly for it  
>  **Disclaimer:** If I owned this, you bet the last movie would have looked different. 
> 
> [Check out the awesome art here](http://tresa-cho.dreamwidth.org/300071.html) (and the beautiful cover [here](http://tresa-cho.deviantart.com/art/Insurgency-STBB-414884196)) 
> 
>  
> 
> [Check out the great mix here](http://8tracks.com/tresa-cho/insurgency)

“So, Doctor, tell me. Am I going to die?”

Leonard sighs inwardly, bites back the sarcastic answer on the tip of his tongue.

“No. As long as you keep to my instructions, you will see a very old age,” he says, watching the man relax with the news.

Patients like Larry Farnsworth make Leonard’s living, but they don’t make his job easier. Bored and alone, the only survivor of his generation, Mr. Farnsworth tends to be a regular visitor of Leonard’s office, and a hypochondriac to boot. All it takes is a cough in his direction, the news of an epidemic in another part of the galaxy, and Mr. Farnsworth is dying, and sure to let Leonard know.

Leonard sighs as he starts filling out the digital form in front of him.

“I’m prescribing you a small boost for your immune system anyway, just in case,” he says, knowing full well that his patient will feel better with it, even if he’s only taking vitamins.  
Leonard hands the prescription over, and leans back in his chair, waiting for the old man to leave.

Farnsworth tucks away the small padd, and leans forward conspiratorially.  
“Did you hear about the Howels?”

Leonard keeps himself from rolling his eyes, and looks at Farnsworth without giving an answer, hoping the old man will take the hint. But of course, he doesn’t.

“They were listening to one of those rebel broadcasts. Out in their backyard. Not that I was eavesdropping or anything. It was loud and clear. Really, I should report them to the authorities. Don’t you think?”

Leonard takes a deep breath in order to stop himself from answering truthfully - that it is none of anyone's business what other people are doing, that no one has the right to tell them what radio broadcast to listen to or which paper to read.  
But that is how the Empire works, how they keep people from starting to think, and if Leonard wants to be left in peace, he had has to play along, has to be the nice, harmless, law abiding citizen. But that doesn't mean he agrees with everything the Empire dictates. Fuck no.

“It’s really not my place to tell you what to do,” he answers, keeping himself out of the matter. Probably dooming the Howels to a dark future, but they had listened to the wrong broadcast after all, and Leonard can't change anything about that.

Mr. Farnsworth looks at him with disappointment written in his face, but stands to leave. “You are right. Maybe I should give them another chance. They are quite the charming couple.”

Leonard keeps the relief straight off his face as he nods. When his patient is out of the door, he leans back with a sigh.

Sunlight streams through the curtains, casting shadows on the desk. Leonard smiles, enjoying the warmth on his face. A look on his watch tells him his day is almost over, and he stretches. A weekend lies before him, with nothing else to do than sit in the sun and read a book, maybe tend to his little garden, or finish his knitting.

He shuts off his PADD, cleans his desk when he hears a loud bang from the waiting room. His finger is on the intercom button without thinking, and he barks. “Mary, what is going...?”

He hears a screech, a muffled cry. Voices shouting orders.

They've found him. He’s not sure how, he’s been so careful, but they have.

He rises from his chair, hand going to the phaser stuck to the underneath of his desk, fingers already going to the settings, stopping when he finds “Stun” blindly. He takes a step to the side, removing the phaser as he goes, closer to the trap door in the floor, but before he can hook his foot into the opening, the door to his office bangs open, and a man in heavy combat gear and a rifle in his hand storms into the room.

“Freeze!”

Leonard does not intend to obey, raises his hand instead, finger on the trigger, his breath incredibly leveled. He is about to shoot, when he hears a noise behind him. He turns, and only just registers the guy behind him, and has only time to wonder where he came from, when the agonizer hits the skin on his neck.

A flash of hot white pain runs through him, his body convulsing, and he curses once before he hits the floor.


	2. Chapter 2

The cuffs cut into his flesh, and he tries to ease the pressure, wriggling his hands a little, to get more comfortable, only to hit his head on the wall. Dried blood from the cut he got falling to the floor clings to his skin, and he curses under his breath.

A guard sees his movement, leans forward to tap a phaser against his leg. “Keep still.”

Leonard huffs a breath, scowls at the guard as if his gaze alone could kill the man, but doesn’t say anything, only leans back against the wall of the vehicle. He’s bound and harnessed to his seat, while his four guards watch him, and his every move.

He wishes this thing had a window, he can feel the claustrophobia creep up on him, and he bites the inside of his cheek to stop himself from shaking.

At least they aren’t in space. Yet.

Leonard should have seen this coming, should have stayed on the run instead of settling down, becoming a known face in the small town he’s been living in for a while now. It had been a matter of time, but for once he’d felt safe, and had relaxed. He had not accounted for the unstoppable force that is the Terran Empire. How stupid he’d been.

He closes his eyes, tries to think, to come up with a plan, when suddenly the vehicle comes to a stop jerking Leonard against his harness, almost choking him. The guards look around, uneasy and Leonard can see it’s not a planned stop.

A guard talks quietly into his communicator, inquires what’s going on. Leonard has to strain to hear the answer, the mumbled questions. For a moment, it’s quiet, all of them waiting for some sign of what’s happening.

With a bang, the door comes off its hinges, and the sudden light makes Leonard squint. He can see the silhouette of a man where the door has been, hips cocked to one side, phaser pointing at the guards.

“Okay, sweethearts, hands in the air and reach for the stars.”  
For a moment, no one moves, shock and surprise obvious on the guards’ faces, and Leonard holds his breath.

Then one guard reaches for his phaser, almost too fast to see, and Leonard wants to cry out, but it’s too late, the guard swings around already, phaser pointing at his opponent, firing a lethal shot.  
The man ducks, jumps to the side, and does something that looks like a pirouette in mid-air, firing back seemingly blindly.

The guard hits the floor, phaser still in his hands.

There’s movement around Leonard, phasers firing, but all he can do is duck his head and try to keep out of harm’s way, and he wishes he wasn’t still bound to the fucking seat while around him shots ring through the air, some of them close enough to have him worried.

Guard after guard hits the floor, and Leonard can't help but wonder about the man who's come to his rescue. The guy's fast, and Leonard is reminded of old action movies where a single man would bring down whole cities. He always thought that was too stupid to be true.

Leonard's musings come to a halt as he realizes that everything is quiet again, all the guards are down, their phasers scattered on the floor.

He feels someone breathing on his neck and flinches.

“Hey, it’s okay, I’ve got you.”

Leonard turns to see the man, his rescuer, crouch next to him, pointing something at his wrists. Leonard hears the whirr of the tool, hears as his cuffs come loose.

“Here you go.”

Leonard circles one wrist with his hand, wincing as his shoulder protests at the sudden motion.

“Thanks,” he says gruffly, his voice harsh.

“Not at all. So, if you want to... what are you doing?”  
Leonard reaches for the man’s arm, drags it closer. “You are hurt,” he rasps as he squints at the cut.

“Erm, I really don’t want to rush you, but if you don’t want to end up in one of these again,” the man says, banging against the vehicle with his free hand, “you should really get going.”

Leonard ignores the man, examining his wound, wishing for his first aid kit.

“Hey, are you even listening to me?”

Leonard looks up, and snaps “Look, whoever you are...”

“Jim. My name is Jim.”

“Fine, Jim. Thanks for getting me out of this thing, but right now I’m trying to help you here, so stop whining, or I swear to God I’m going to punch you in the face.”

Leonard almost instantly regrets his words, his tone, but he’s just too wound up to care for manners right now.

The man - Jim - tilts his head, looks at Leonard like he’s seeing him for the first time. “Are you some kind of a doctor?”

“Some kind, yeah. And a good kind at that.”

Jim doesn’t answer, only holds still, watching Leonard working. “So, what’s the verdict? Am I going to live?”

Leonard scowls, but releases Jim’s arm. “From what I can see, it seems to be okay. Not that I can do much out here without my kit.”

“Well, that’s enough for me. Think we can get out of here now?”

Leonard huffs a breath as he gets up from his seat, his legs protesting, but he walks out into the sunlight, squinting as he looks around.

They’re in the middle of the desert, far away from any city Leonard can think of. It’s the reason why he settled down here in the first place, no people to speak of for miles, with tons of sand in between. Now he can’t help but wonder how he’s ever getting back to civilization again.

“You know,” Jim says quietly, as if he’s talking to himself, “I could use a doctor.”

Leonard turns to look at him, shooting him a skeptical look while a small part of him hopes that he might have found a way out of his dilemma. Then Jim continues, “What do you think? Wanna see my spaceship?”

Spaceship. Leonard’s stomach makes a funny lurch at the word. “You think I’m going to space. With you. I don’t even know you.”

“I just rescued you from Starfleet - and wherever they were taking you.”

Jim has a point, but one reason Leonard doesn’t want to end up in the hands of Starfleet is because... well, because they operate in space.

“Look kid, I know you mean well...”

Jim holds up a hand. “You don’t really have an option here, do you? You can try and find a city around here - I think the next one is 50 miles to the east. Or you can stay here. In both cases, Starfleet will find you again and you’ll end up exactly where you don’t want to be. Or you come with me.”

Leonard knows this, he knows, but his fear is so overwhelming that for a moment he considers staying here and take his chances.

“Or do you have somewhere to go? I could take you there.”

Leonard hears the honesty in this offer, and bites back a bitter laugh. “Kid, I have nothing. Nothing but my bones.”

Jim takes a step towards him. “You can get off my ship anytime you want. Promise.”

Leonard swallows, eyes fixed on the horizon, wondering when someone will notice his transport has gone awry.

Jim takes another step, holding out a hand. “Come on.”

Leonard takes a breath... and Jim’s hand, warm and slightly calloused in his, squeezing encouragingly. “I’m not very fond of space.”

Jim grins again, retrieving a communicator from his pants. “I can live with that.”

“I mean it. I may throw up on you.”

Jim laughs at that, a rich, heartfelt sound and flips open the communicator, pressing a button. “Hey Pavel. Two to beam up.”

“Aye, aye.”

Jim pulls Leonard close, closer than necessary, and whispers right into his ear, “I think we still have paper bags on the ship.”

Before Leonard can reply, the world dissolves around him in a swirl of light.

When the sensation stops, he’s on a transporter pad, and Jim is still next to him, arm around his hips and breath on his neck. He takes a step to the left, almost falling from the plateau, and feels mighty stupid.

But neither Jim nor the kid he just noticed say anything, Jim stepping from the pad like nothing happened, turning to look at Leonard. “I think you need some cleaning up, my friend.”

It’s the first time Leonard has really looked at the guy, and he’s surprised how young he appears, with his short blond hair curling slightly over his ears, blue eyes flashing in a handsome face, his smile almost blindingly white. But upon a closer look, Leonard sees wrinkles next to his eyes, sees the first gray in his stubble.

He’s a good looking bastard, even with the scar that runs from his right temple all the way down, almost to the corner of his mouth, and Leonard itches to touch, wishes he had his med kit with him to have a look, to see if he couldn’t do anything about it.

He doesn’t do anything like that of course. Instead he crosses his arms over his chest and scowls at Jim. “I’m going nowhere if you don’t tell me who you are.”

Jim turns to the kid, and says, “Pavel, why don’t you go back to the bridge and see what Hikaru is up to?”

Pavel jumps, and dashes from the room like he’s on fire. Leonard looks after him, raising an eyebrow.

“He’s just a bit shy. But who wasn’t when they were eighteen?”

Leonard bets Jim wasn’t even close to shy when he was eighteen, but keeps that to himself.

Jim sighs dramatically, and puts his hands on his hips. “Look, we can stand here all day and stare at each other, or you come to sickbay and I’ll explain everything later. Your choice, really.”

Leonard scowls. The kid is right, but damn him if he’s going to admit it. “You answer my question first.”

“I told you, I’m Jim.”

“Jim who?”

The grin falters on Jim’s face, a stubborn set to his jaw telling Leonard he hit a nerve, and he almost takes it back when Jim says quietly, “Kirk. Jim Kirk.”

Leonard lowers his arms, his hands gliding into the pockets of his pants. “See, that wasn’t hard now, was it?”

Jim gives him a peculiar look, and Leonard wonders what exactly he’s missing here, but then the grin is back, and Jim holds out his hand again. “You coming now?”

Leonard scowls, but considering that he can still feel the dried blood on his face, he really could use some cleaning up. So he only shrugs and follows the other man.

 

 

+~+

 

 

Jim leads him through a maze of corridors Leonard is not sure he’ll ever find a way back out of again. Not that he needs to when he’ll leave at the next opportunity. Leonard is just surprised that a spaceship can be so confusing. When Jim stops abruptly, Leonard almost walks into him, stopping only inches from him, close enough to count the freckles on his neck.

Jim turns, smiling at him, and Leonard takes a step back, looking at his feet.

“Here we are. It’s not in a good state I’m afraid, but we’ve hadn’t a doctor for a while, so...”

Leonard looks past Jim, curious, and sees a dimly lit room, full of boxes, papers... and a biobed. “Is this a sick bay?”

“It was a sick bay. Then we turned it into a store room. But with a bit of work...”

Leonard scowls, looking at the debris inside the room. A bit of work is an underestimation.

“I know you don’t want to stay, but if you change your mind, this is all yours.”

Leonard snorts.“Well, it certainly needs some cleaning, so if you ever find a doctor somewhere, he won’t run away screaming.”

Jim’s grin widens, and Leonard ignores it as good as he can.

“I’m not saying that I’m doing the cleaning up, mind you.”

“Uh-huh. Now sit down.” Jim pats the biobed invitingly.

“What?”

“I want to clean up your face, if that’s alright.”

“I can do that quite well on my own, you know” Leonard scoffs, but sits down on the biobed anyway, watching as Jim digs through the assorted crap littered around.

“Ha!” Jim exclaims, holding up a small box, grinning at Leonard. “Probably not as state of the art as your stuff, but I think it will be enough.”

Leonard watches skeptically as Jim removes cottons swabs, sanitizer and a dermal regenerator from the box, and tries not to fidget. He’s a poor patient, and he’d really rather do this himself.  
Instead, he closes his eyes as Jim wipes his face with a swab, surprisingly gentle fingers holding his chin. Then he hears the sound of a regen, and the fingers are gone.

Leonard opens his eyes again, taking in the expression on Jim’s face, not really sure what to name it. Then Jim blinks, and the grin is back, leaving Leonard wondering what exactly just went on behind those blue eyes.

“Okay, think I’m done. Best I could do. Now, if you want to follow me…”

Leonard grabs Jim’s arm, exactly where he knows Jim is injured. Jim hisses a breath through his teeth, and Leonard lets go.

“Maybe I should have a look at that, hm?”

Jim rolls his eyes, but hitches the sleeve of his shirt up anyway.

Leonard sets to work, cleaning the wound and closing it, ignoring how close Jim is standing, or how he smells, or that his lips are really, really pink. No, he’s not noticing any of that.

When he’s done, he leans back, letting go of the arm, putting much needed distance between himself and Jim. “There you are.”

Jim grins, waving the arm around like he just got a new one. “Awesome,” he says, wriggling his eyebrows, and Leonard has to smile. “So, you think we can go to the bridge now?”

Leonard sighs, would give anything to go and find a place to lie down, to change his clothes, but he can see that Jim is set on introducing him to his crew, and he gives in.

“Yeah, whatever.”

 

 

+~+

 

 

They resume their tour through the ship, corridor after corridor, making Leonard dizzy. At one point Jim stops, hitting the button of an intercom and crooning, “Hey there. Here’s your captain. Did you miss me? Why don’t you all come down to the bridge? I have to show you something.”

Leonard is not sure what to think. The ship is not what he expected. He’s not an expert, but it looks old, run down even, paint coming off the walls, the technology looking outdated and wonky, held together by wishful thinking and adhesive, and still... it has a charm, has something Leonard couldn’t quite name. Like the captain. Leonard would have thought he would be different, more professional, less of the child he was back on the planet, but Jim keeps grinning, running a commentary about the ship’s features Leonard has stopped listening to, only understanding half of the techno babble.

Leonard is confused, and he can’t help but look at Jim, at the stretch of his neck, at the scar, at the bluest eyes Leonard had ever seen. Looking doesn’t help his confusion, either. When they finally emerge on the bridge, Leonard is dizzy, and disoriented.

And the first thing he sees is a view of space through the huge screen in the front, and he feels his feet giving out under him, feels the blood draining from his face, and he wants to run, to hide, to scream...

A hand is on his back, warm, solid, and Jim whispers in his ear, warm breath gusting over the shell, “It’s okay. You’re fine.”

Leonard tries to control his breathing, tries to tell Jim that it’s not fine, that they are in _fucking_ space, that they are all going to _fucking_ die, that it’s only a matter of time until they’re sucked into darkness and silence.

“Hey. Hey, look at me.”

Leonard does. It takes every bit of willpower he possesses and some more, but he does, averting his eyes from the screen, looking to his right, into blue eyes, reassuring and calm.

He breathes, deep and calming, and if he leans into Jim’s solid touch still on his back, he’ll blame it later on the shock, on the fear in his gut telling him to get away as fast as he can. He’s aware that there are other people watching him, but right now there is only blue, only the warm light of Jim’s eyes, the press of Jim’s hand into his back.

“Okay?”

Leonard nods, slowly, carefully, not sure if his stomach is ready for him to move again.

Jim takes a tentative step back, and Leonard turns, only to see the black void again, and he reaches a steadying hand out, bracing himself.

An angry beep makes him jump, and Jim is back, holding him upright.

“Hey, easy. Everything is fine. Hey Pavel, why don’t you shut off the screen for a while?”

Leonard can feel the sweat on his face, his back, on his fucking toes, and he breathes deeply again, looking anxiously around. Out of the corners of his eyes he sees how the screen turns mercifully blank.

“I didn’t just start the self destruct sequence on this tin can, did I?” he asks, hating how fragile his voice sounds.

Jim chuckles, looks at where Leonard’s hand had landed on a button.

“I don’t think so. Hey Hikaru, what does this thing do?”

A young Asian man in a hilariously patterned Aloha shirt takes a step closer, looks at the button in question and says, “This? This is the seat heater for the captain’s chair. Could be your ass is getting a bit hot, Jim.”

“My ass is hot,” Jim laughs and slaps Leonard lightly on the back. “See, nothing bad.”

Leonard lets out a breath, not sure what to think, but Jim is already moving on.

“This is Hikaru. My first in command. Best man in the universe. Keeps my ass out trouble.”

“And you should pay me better for how often I have to do it.” Hikaru reaches out a hand. “Hi, nice to meet you.”

Leonard shakes the hand, and mumbles, “Hi."

“And this,” Jim leads him a few steps down to the middle of the bridge, hand still on his back, “is Scotty, ace with everything that can be used as a weapon.”

Leonard looks up and is greeted with the most hostile expression he’s ever seen, including his mother-in-law.

“Do we really need another mouth to feed?” Scotty grumbles.

“Hey now, you know what I told you.”

“Yeah, whatever. But don’t whine at me if rations get tight again.” With that, Scotty turns and slouches out of a door, grumbling all the way.

“Don’t sweat it,” Jim says reassuringly, “he’s not good with strangers. Buy him a whiskey though, and he’s your best friend.”

Leonard can get behind that.

“And this,” Jim continues, reaching the kid from the transporter room, now hovering over the control panels, “is Pavel. Youngest member of the crew, but the best pilot I've had in years.” Pavel turns a delicate shade of red as Hikaru makes a protesting noise, but Jim waves dismissively. “What? You forgot to release the handbrake, didn’t you?”

Hikaru mumbles something like “that one time”, and Leonard can’t help grinning.

“And last, but not least, this is the charming Christine, the best engineer in the galaxy, and the owner of my heart.”

Christine snorts at that. She’s a sight, blonde and tall, with a smudge of dirt on her cheek and a screwdriver in her hair.

“Don’t you listen to that idiot. Only woman who owns his heart is this bloody ship.” She sticks out her hand. “Nice to meet you...?”

Leonard takes her hand, turns it in his and bows, kissing the back of her hand lightly. “Ma’am.”

She giggles, withdrawing her hand. “See Jim, that’s a real gentleman.”

Jim laughs, eyes crinkling, and makes a encompassing gesture with both arms. “And this is my lady, the Insurgency.”

Leonard looks around and asks, “And what do you do, when not rescuing imperial prisoners?”

Jim smirks at him, lowering his arms. “I’d love to tell you, but I don't usually share that information with strangers.”

Leonard blinks, confused, but then it strikes him, and he hears the voice of his mother telling him that she wasted all her time on him. “I’m Leonard. Leonard McCoy.”

Jim widens his arms again, and Leonard has the feeling he’s quite a fan of dramatic gestures. “Welcome Leonard.” Then he frowns, brows knitting over his eyes. “No, that doesn’t work. Bones. That’s better. Welcome, Bones.”

Leonard can feel his eyebrow wander close to his hairline, and he’s about to ask, when Jim reaches out his hand and says, “And now, let me show you your quarters.”

“I didn’t say I wanted to stay!” Leonard protests weakly.

“For now you have to, our next stop is in a few days,” Hikaru says dryly.

Leonard sputters. “You said I could leave whenever I wanted.”

Jim shrugs. “Whenever you want and we’re close to a planet, of course. Or do you want me to chuck you out into space?”

Leonard shivers at the thought. “Why several days?"

“Because we need to find a planet where no imperial troops run around,” Jim says, flicking a finger at Leonard’s nose like he’s a stupid child.

Leonard really wants to say something to that, but Jim tugs at the fabric of his sweater. “Come on, let’s go.”

Leonard sighs, and follows. He’s got the feeling he doesn’t have any other options.

Jim leads him into another set of corridors, but Leonard stops at one point, remembering something. “You still haven’t told me what you’re doing out here.”

Jim turns around, eyeing curiously, then grins again. Leonard is not sure if he wants to punch him or kiss him. “What do you think?”

"I think you run around and attempt to get yourselves killed.”

“Close enough. Let’s just say we’re a bunch of people who do not like the Empire and do whatever we can to make their life hell. Including freeing stubborn doctors.”

Leonard rolls his eyes at that when a thought strikes him. “Wait, you're with the Terran Rebellion, are you?” That would just be his luck, ending up with a bunch of punks that tried to fight the Terran Empire with idealism and not much more.

Jim smirks. “What's left of it. We mostly work alone, but it's not like we have a monthly meeting or anything.”

Leonard can feel his heart drop, and he pinches the bridge of his nose. “Perfect,” he mumbles, “just perfect.”

“You should be glad that we detected your transport, seeing as though it was by accident. And that I went down despite Hikaru's protests.”

Leonard looks up at that, his face flushing at the slight reprimand. “I am. And I thank you. It's just not what I was planning to do on my weekend off.”

Jim shrugs at that, a small smile on his face. “Well, I wasn't planning on picking up a handsome doctor, but that's life, isn't it?”

“Well, in that case, fuck my life,” Leonard grouses quietly.

Jim only chuckles at that. “Come on, let's go.”

Leonard nods, and they move on, past empty rooms and old computers. It’s not far, only down the corridor really, and at least this time Leonard is pretty sure he can find the way to the bridge again if he has to. Not that he wants to return there as long as he lives.

“Here we are. It’s not much, but it's clean.”

The room is small, but enough. The bed is made, and the closet is big enough. Then Leonard sees the photo frame on one of the shelves lining the room, and he walks towards the shelf, turning to look at Jim with a frown on his face.

Jim follows his movement with his eyes, and comes to stand behind him, his hands on the frame. Jim is very close, close enough that his eyelashes could tickle Leonard’s cheek, so close Leonard can make out the exact color of his eyes, and smell a mix of sun and sand and something he cannot place. Leonard can’t stop the thick swallow as Jim darts out his tongue to wet his lips, leans in even closer, making Leonard go cross-eyed, and he murmurs something that Leonard can’t hear over the roar in his ears.

“What?”

“Sorry, forgot to put that away.” Jim whispers, eyes still on the picture.

“Whose,” Leonard asks, and his voice is so raspy he has to cough before he tries again. “Whose is this?”

“Rodriguez. It’s Rodriguez.” Jim visibly shakes himself, looks to the side, not meeting Leonard’s eye. “It’s his old room.”

Then, as if he’s become aware again of where he is, Jim looks back at Leonard, grin in place, even if it looks a bit forced. “Sorry about that, but we are a bit limited when it comes to rooms you can actually use.”

Leonard wants to say something, ask something, but then Jim leans forward, hand rising to put back the photo, too close again. “I hope you don’t mind? It’s just... I think it’s too soon.”

“What happened?” Leonard hears himself ask, and wonders where the hell that came from since his brain seems to be on vacation.

“He died. On our last raid, the troopers got their hands on him and he... he died.”

Leonard swallows, feeling helpless as he tries to think of something to say. Jim tilts his head, and Leonard feels his stomach lurch again, for reasons that have nothing to do with space.

“Bones?”

“Yes?” he asks while wondering when he started to answer to this nickname.

“You should really get a shower. You reek.”

Leonard makes a face at that.

“You can put your clothes into the laundry chute, if they still can be rescued.”

Leonard rubs the back of his neck. “And then what? Run around the ship naked?” He snaps, and yes, maybe he sounds bitchy, but it has been a long day.

Jim's grin only broadens, and the glint is back in his eyes as he gives Leonard a slow once-over. “As much as I would like that, I guess you may as well take Rodriguez's old clothes. In the closet. I know they’re not yours, but they are clean. You can get new ones at our next stop if you want.”

Leonard doesn’t really want to wear the clothes of a dead man, but since his other option is to run around in his birthday suit, he doesn’t say anything, only nods in agreement.

“Dinner’s at six. I’ll send someone to get you.”

And with that Jim is gone, and Leonard wonders how this turned into his life all of a sudden.

 

 

+~+

 

 

In the end, after a very long shower, he slips into a pair of boxers, and collapses on his bed, intending to just take a short nap and then think about what the fuck is actually going on, and what he’s going to do next.

He wakes to a noise next to his head, a weird shuffling that has him open his eyes in confusion.

Christine crouches next to the bed, head in the closet, ass sticking in the air.

Leonard clears his throat, and hears a thump, wincing in sympathy.

“Ouch,” comes Christine’s muffled voice from the closet, and she reaches up a hand to rub at her head. He watches her draw back and straighten, smiling at him sheepishly.

“Hey, you are awake. Sorry to walk in on you, but I was looking for something.”

Leonard raises an eyebrow, only too aware that he’s naked to the waist. “In my closet?”

“You’d be surprised what you can do with socks,” she answers, waiving a pair in the air.  
Leonard really doesn’t want to know.

Christine crouches into the closet again, only to come back up with a heap of clothes in her hand.

“Here, Sleeping Beauty. Get ready for dinner.”

She throws the clothes at him, and because it’s one of those days, hits him square in the face with them.

“That looked graceful,” she mocks from where she’s sitting, and he can’t help but snort at that.

“Next time I wake you up you show me how graceful you are.”

“Is that a shitty come-on?”

“No, it isn’t. And now leave me alone, I wanna get dressed.”

“Nothing I haven’t seen yet. Besides, I have to take you to dinner, or Jim will take my screwdriver away again.”

Leonard doesn’t even want to know if she means that literally or not.

When he’s dressed in a black tank top and jeans a bit too tight - something Christine swears she’s picked at random - they weave their way around the ship again. Leonard tries to remember the way, but can’t keep up with the twists and turns. He could swear looking at a space ship that none of them could be so screwed up inside.

They emerge to an actual kitchen, with a stove and a huge table in the middle, looking more inviting than he’d imagined. The air smells of spices and tomatoes, and his stomach reminds him he hasn’t eaten in awhile.

Christine goes to stand next to Hikaru, who’s bent over a pot and eyes the contents suspiciously, like he’s waiting for an attack. Leonard looks around, when he spots Jim looking at him, sprawled in a chair, head tilted to one side. Leonard nods and tries to make up his mind on where to sit when Jim waves at him, indicating the chair next to him.

When Leonard sits down, he realizes that opposite him Scotty is scowling at him like he’s evil incarnate, but decides not to take it personally. He would be suspicious too if some stranger showed up on his spaceship all of a sudden. So he looks to Jim, who in turn looks at him, a slight smile on his face, a warm glow to his eyes, and if Leonard doesn’t stop this right now this is going to get embarrassing pretty soon.

Just as he feels warmth creeping up his face, Hikaru puts the pot on the table, waving a ladle around and announcing in a voice a circus director would be proud of, “Lady and Gentlemen - and Scotty - today’s dinner. Don’t thank me, I don’t know what it is either.”

He fills up the plates after that, and everyone is busy eating for a moment, the silence only interrupted with chewing and the clatter of cutlery.

Leonard regards his food with something between fear, respect and disgust, but when he tastes it, it’s actually not bad, and by now he'll almost eat anything. He’s halfway through his fill when suddenly Scotty drops his spoon with a clatter, looking at Hikaru with murder in his eyes. Leonard tenses, hand clenching around his spoon, watching.

“Really, you call this food? Our dogs would have gotten better stuff.”

It’s silent for a moment, and Leonard tenses a bit more, halfway out of his chair, when Hikaru lets out a chuckle and answers, “Sure. Why don’t you go back home and eat with the dogs then?”

“I killed those bloody beasts, and you know that,” Scotty grins back, his eyes gleaming almost maniacally. “And they still made better food than this.”

“As if you would know good food if it bit you in the ass,” Christine chips in, a big grin on her face.

Leonard realizes that they are joking, that there is no real danger, and relaxes, only now noticing how hard he’d grabbed the spoon, almost not able to let go again.

“In Russia, there is always good food. We don’t know how to make bad food at all.”

Everyone laughs at that, and even Leonard has to snort.

“What? It is true, my mother told me, it was in her genes to cook good.”

“Sure Pavel,” Hikaru says, patting the younger man on the hand.

Pavel turns an interesting shade of red at that and mumbles something into his plate.

“What about you Leonard? You think this sucks?” Hikaru turns to him, laughter in his eyes.

“Well,” he drawls, “this ain’t my mother's peach cobbler,” Christine makes a noise that would be obscene in a different context, “but it’s not poison either.”

“How very diplomatic of you,” Hikaru says and leans back, spoon sliding into his plate. “I think I could have done worse.”

“So could famine,” Scotty stage-whispers.

Leonard looks at Jim, who hasn’t said anything. He's watching his crew with an expression Leonard’s only seen on his father's face before; affection, pride, mild amusement, and in this moment, he looks more mature than Leonard has seen him before. Something flutters in his stomach, and he silently reprimands himself. This is not going to get easier if he falls for the man.

Around him, the conversation has moved on, stories of quests they had gone on together, and he feels a bit isolated, left out, so he excuses himself, mumbles about being tired and leaves the kitchen.

He’s a few steps into a corridor, when he hears Jim’s voice behind him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Back to bed. I’m tired.”

“Your bed is this way”, Jim answers, pointing to his right.

“Really? I could have sworn...”

“I know, the girl is confusing sometimes. Know what, I’ll show you.”

“No really, I don’t want to keep you from eating.”

“It’s okay.”

And so Leonard follows Jim yet again. He’s trying and failing again to memorize the way, and is surprised when they arrive at his quarters sooner than he thought.

“Did you just take a short cut?”

“Possibly.” Jim shrugs, grinning.

“I will never find my way around here if you keep doing that.”

“I thought you didn’t want to stay.”

Leonard purses his lips. Jim only grins.

Leonard turns toward the door. “Well, I think I’ll find my way from here.”

Jim chuckles, and suddenly he’s in Leonard’s space again, sliding one arm around his waist. His lips brush Leonard’s ear as he whispers, “Good night”. before he plants a quick kiss on Leonard’s cheek.

Leonard is too surprised to do anything, and when his brain starts working again, Jim is gone, his footsteps echoing through the corridor. Leonard curses as he steps into his room.


	3. Chapter 3

Leonard wakes with a bad taste in his mouth and the dizzy feeling that something isn’t right. For a few seconds, he can’t put a finger on it, his brain not really back online. He scrunches up his nose, eyes still shut, and huffs out a breath, turning to his side. As his hand brushes the bedside table, he opens his eyes, confused. Since when does he have a bedside table?

Then it comes back to him, how Starfleet officers had stormed his office, how Jim had rescued him, how he ended up in space.

He’s in fucking space.

Fuck.

He’s out of his bed and in the bathroom in the blink of an eye, grabbing the sink forcefully, his knuckles white as he tries not to throw up.

Space. Fucking space. For God knows how long.

Leonard groans as he slowly looks up, into the mirror, into his pale face and huge, panicked eyes. He can’t help but wonder if he wasn’t better off with Starfleet. Or even better, dead. He takes a deep breath. Takes a look at the chronometer and groans - it’s the middle of the fucking night. Well, as much as it can be night on a spaceship.

He walks into his bedroom again, looks wistfully at the bed, knowing too well that he won’t be able to go back to sleep again. Cursing softly, he gets dressed, and leaves his quarters. He’s not sure where he wants to go, but anything is better than staying in that broom closet, brooding.

The ship is silent around him, the only thing reminding him that they are in motion is a soft hum in the air, and vibrations under his feet.  
He walks without thinking, his eyes on the floor, his thoughts unfocused white noise in his head, when he walks into someone who utters a soft “oof”.

“Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going - Jim?”  
Blue eyes twinkle in the dark, a flash of white as Jim grins. “Hey Bones. What are you doing here?”

“I was just walking around. Couldn’t sleep.”

Jim makes a noise at the back of his throat. “It’s hard, the first night on a spaceship. I remember, I felt like I was going mad from all the clanking and humming my first time around.”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“You wanna come in?” Jim asks, and only now does Leonard realize they’re standing in front of a door, probably to Jim’s quarters.

“No, I don’t want to keep you awake…”

“Bullshit. Come on.”

So Leonard follows Jim into a room, not much bigger than his own, almost identical except for one wall with a shelf full of…

“Are those books?” Leonard asks, his voice filled with awe.

“Yep,” Jim answers, a grin in his voice.

Leonard can’t help it, he takes a step closer. It’s been years since he’s seen so many books, and that was in a museum, behind glass and secured barriers.

“But they’re, they’re banned.” Leonard can’t believe what he’s seeing, to find something like this in space, of all places.

Jim chuckles. “That’s what a rebellion is about, isn’t it? Doing stuff that isn’t allowed, possessing stuff you’re not supposed to.”

Leonard listens only half-heartedly, his fingers itching to touch. “How did you get them?”

“There is a black market for everything, Bones. Go on, take one.”

Leonard turns around, looking at Jim aghast. “I can’t - these must be worth a fortune.”

Jim shrugs. “Maybe, but that’s not why I own them. They’re books, so you read them. Think about them.” Jim comes to stand next to Leonard, reaching out to take a book from the shelf.

“With some of them, it’s like visiting old friends. You read them again, and you meet people you already know. Feels like coming home.” Jim strokes the cover now, and Leonard is mesmerized at the softness of his touch, of his voice.

“My grandfather used to read this to me when I was little. Over and over again, never tiring of that brat who only wanted to hear that one story.”

Jim smiles at the memory, and Leonard feels his heart fluttering again. Then Jim looks at him, eyeing him, seizing him up. “I think I know what you should be reading.”

Jim bends down, retrieving a book, hands it to Leonard with a grin. Leonard squints at the title, then looks at Jim skeptically. “I’m a doctor, not a farmer, Jim.”

“Animal Farm is not about farming, Bones. You’ll find out when you read it.”

Leonard nods, and grabs the book tighter, holding it to his chest. For a moment, he’s not sure what to say. Does he want to talk about earlier, when Jim kissed him like they did that all the time? And then what? Awkwardly listen to Jim’s explanation that he didn’t mean it like that, that it had been a joke? He knows he's standing there like an idiot, so he jerks upright, nods to Jim and turns to the door.

“Well, I’d better get back to bed…” Leonard says, tries to sound nonchalant.

“Okay. Night, Bones.”

Leonard looks up again, scowling.

“Care to tell me what this is about?”

Jim looks at him, eyebrows raised. “What?”

“That nickname you’re using.”

“You said you have nothing left but your bones. I think it fits.”

Leonard snorts, shakes his head.

He leaves shortly after, and is not even surprised to find out that his quarters are not very far away, only two corners to the left. He wonders briefly if Jim did this on purpose, keeping him close, but discards that thought quickly. Once he’s inside his room, he sits down on his bed, eyeing the book in his hands.

His great grandmother owned books, he remembers now. Remembers how he always wanted to have a library like she did, wanted to sit down in a chair and read all day like he saw the grownups do. That was right after the Empire took over, the ban on books not yet in force. Leonard had been what, five back then? Not much older, he’s sure about that.

He remembers, a year or two later, his parents discussing the changes in the law, that the books had to go. Remembers his great grandmother cursing everyone who even suggested she got rid of her collection, remembers how he watched her stand up against even Imperial law enforcers, pointing her old shotgun at their faces until they scampered off. Remembers how she was taken away not long after, how his parents had told him she was going on a vacation, and how he’d known it wasn’t true, that his Granny Ann would never come back.

Now, sitting on the bed of a dead man, wearing a dead man’s clothes, in fucking space, he holds the book to his nose and inhales deeply, smelling the old dust and even older ink, and he feels tears prickling at the corners of his eyes. He takes a deep breath, blinks a few times, and opens the book, starts to read.

At first, he’s confused - why would Jim think he’d like a book about talking animals - but the longer he reads, the more he gets it. Books like this, they would make people think, would make them wonder. Would maybe form a resistance, would make the life of the Emperor harder. Yes, he could see how one would ban books to keep people under control.

He sighs, and puts the book down, finds something to mark the page he’s been reading, and lies down on the bed, staring into the darkness.

 

 

+~+

 

 

On the next morning, he tries to find the way into the kitchen, only to get lost again. Scowling, he retraces his steps, takes another turn - and ends up in front of a wall. Goddammit, that’s ridiculous!

He’s close to trying to find his quarters again and hiding inside them until someone comes looking for him, when he hears voices. Leonard lets out a relieved breath and follows the sound.

He ends up looking into a room taken up with a huge warp core and computer terminals. Great. Not even remotely close to breakfast.

He hears a clang, and Christine’s voice rings from somewhere behind the warp core “No, not that one. The bigger one. Am I speaking Romulan or what?”

Leonard chuckles as he walks closer, rounding the warp core. He’s greeted by the sight of two sets of legs, sticking out of some machine or other. He’s a doctor, not an engineer.

“What?” he hears Jim answer, “this one is better. Believe me.”

“It’s not, you dickhead. It takes way longer, and it’s too small. Who taught you to fix a starship? Wild bears?”

“Fine, be like that. This is the last time I’m helping you”, Jim laughs, wriggling his legs to get upright again, and Leonard feels the urge to flee, not to be caught listening in. He scowls at himself for the thought and takes a step back instead.

Jim’s sitting now, looking back at Christine’s legs. “No really, don’t ever ask me again.”

“Ask you? You turned up and wanted to lend a hand. I’m perfectly fine here, thank you!”

Jim chuckles, turning as he cleans his hands on a towel. “Oh hey, Bones. Didn’t hear you coming in. Christine, say hi to Bones.”

“Hi Sleeping Beauty”

Great. Now he already has two nicknames. Leonard can feel a headache building.

“So, what are you doing here?”

“I was looking for the kitchen,” Leonard answers, mentally kicking himself that his voice sounds a bit strangled, but really, it’s not his fault.

Jim has a streak of dirt on his cheek, right next to his scar, and Leonard can’t help but be a bit distracted by it. When the hell did he turn sixteen again?

“Still getting lost, huh? She really doesn’t want you walking around alone here. Or she wants you to end up running into me all the time.” Jim grins, and it takes Leonard a moment to understand that he’s talking about the ship.

“Yeah. Whatever. I was just hoping for something to eat. Mind pointing me there?”

“I’ll show you the way. Don’t want you to starve. You going to be okay on your own here, Chris?”

“You bet I am. Show your ass to the door.”

“You heard the lady.”

Jim leads him through the ship, and Leonard swears he’s been this way too, but then gives up. Every corridor looks the same anyway. And it’s not like it matters. In a few days he’ll be gone, hiding on yet another planet, under yet another name, and the Insurgency and their crew will be forgotten. Even Jim.

Leonard doesn’t try to dwell on the fact that this makes him a little sad.

Finally, Leonard can smell coffee, and he almost shoves Jim out of the way to get to the coffee machine, to get hold of one of the mugs and breathe in the aroma.

Jim sits down, sprawls in his chair and watches him. “Better now?”

Leonard doesn’t answer, only sips his coffee. Damn, this is good.

“You want anything else? I make a mean scrambled egg”, Jim asks.

“You have fresh eggs here?” Leonard raises an eyebrow.

“Our last stop was not that long ago, so yeah. We have a great cooling system. And I hate that replicated stuff, just doesn’t taste like the real thing, you know? That coffee, I made it this morning from fresh beans. Nothing like it.”

Leonard can’t help but agree. Back in the days when he would still have access to replicated food, he would rather not eat at all. Everything tasted of old socks.

“You have any plans for today?” Jim asks.

Leonard thinks about going back to his quarters, but the thought of being alone all day doing nothing isn’t really compelling. He considers joining Jim on the bridge, but that makes his stomach clench, and he forgets about it. “Might as well clean up your sickbay. In case you ever find another doctor.”

“I was hoping you’d say that.”

Leonard makes a face, and Jim smiles.

“You need anything, you let me know. The intercom should be working back there. You know, in case someone needs to take you to your quarters or anything.”

“Very funny.”

“I know.” Jim grins, and Leonard wants to smack him so hard his fingers twitch.

Leonard puts down his mug, clears his throat. “Well, I better get going,” he says, walking towards the door, not sure what foolish things he’ll do if he stays with Jim in one room alone, what with the way he’s still smiling at him.

“Wait.” Jim says.

Leonard turns around, only to find Jim standing a few inches into his personal space.

“I should show you the way, don’t you think?”

Leonard rolls his eyes, but steps away to let Jim lead the way. Again. This really is ridiculous.

It doesn’t take them long, even though Leonard swears it’s yet another route to the one they took last night. He tries not to think about it.

“Here we are.”

“Thank you”, Leonard grumbles, shuffling past Jim into the room.

“Oh and Bones?”

Leonard turns around, mentally kicking himself for answering to the name again.

“Have fun.”

Leonard resists the urge to throw something heavy at Jim's retreating back.

 

 

+~+

 

 

Leonard stands in the so called sick bay, looking around gloomily and rakes a hand through his hair. Damn, but this is a mess. At first glance, it had seemed a bit dirty and full of clutter. Now Leonard wonders if they put the whole ship into this tiny room and forgot about it completely.  
At least this room doesn’t have a window.

He curses as he bends down, heaving the next box onto the table in front of him. After the first five were full of some clutter or the other, he’s given up hope of finding anything useful in them, but he still takes a look. Maybe he’ll be lucky with one or two.

He realizes at first glance that this isn’t the box he’s looking for. Old pictures, notebooks, a pen or two. He’s about to put everything away, when one picture slides to the floor, under the bio bed and into a corner. Cursing silently, he bends down, crouching to retrieve the picture, when he hears a whistle behind him.

He looks up, scowling. Jim stands in the doorway, a big grin on his face, not hiding that he just ogled Leonard’s ass. “Hey. How’s it going?”

Leonard swallows around an answer, puts the picture onto the table as he straightens. “Are you always lurking around spying on your crew?”

“It’s my privilege as a captain. And you’re not my crew, you’re a stranger. I have to keep an eye on you.” Jim grins as he picks up the picture, eyes flicking over it. Then the smile is gone, and he makes a small sound at the back of his throat. “Huh. Didn’t know this was still around?”

Leonard cranes his head to see who’s on the picture, glimpses a tall blond man in his late twenties. “Who’s that?”

“It’s my dad. Not long before he died.” Jim says in a flat voice.

“What happened?”

Jim gives him a calculating look, puts the picture back on the table. “You really don’t know who I am, do you?”

Leonard shakes his head.

“My dad, George Kirk, was one of the first of the Terran Rebellion. He fought the Empire. They killed him the day I was born.”

Leonard reaches out, puts his hand on Jim’s arm. “Jim, I’m sorry.”

Jim shakes his head. “My mother never told me, you know. Was afraid I would do something stupid. She let me join Starfleet when I was old enough. I found out during a lesson. The professor wanted to show us what happens when you do not obey the Empire.” Jim traces the scar on his cheek absentmindedly. “That was when I decided I didn’t fit in with them.”

He looks up with a fierce glint in his eyes. “That’s what we do, Bones. We hurt the Empire, in every way we can. So they can’t hurt innocent people.”

Leonard doesn’t know what to say. So he watches as Jim takes the picture again, tucks it into one of his pockets, and takes a deep breath. “Well, I think that’s enough soul striptease for one morning, isn’t it?”

Jim is smiling. It’s strained, but Leonard can recognize a self defense mechanism when he sees one, so he doesn’t say anything, just lets go of Jim’s arm and turns to the box again. “You want the rest, too? Looks like they’re all yours.”

“Nah. Better not cling to the past, right Bones?”

Leonard huffs out a breath and turns around again, making a face. “Do you really have to call me that?”

“What? It’s better than Sleeping Beauty.” Jim leans forward. “Do I want to know where that comes from?”

“She woke me up on the search for socks.”

Jim lifts an eyebrow and smirks. “Now that sounds interesting.”

“Oh, shut up,” Leonard growls and swats Jim with a dust rag.

“Okay, okay, I surrender.”

For a moment, they’re standing there, looking at each other, grinning like fools. Leonard feels a tingling sensation on his skin, and he’s painfully aware that dust clings to his clothes, his hair sticks out every which way and his tank top is yet again a number too tight.

Seconds tick by, and Leonard takes another breath, when the intercom comes to life behind him. He’ll deny later that he jumped half a mile into the air at that.

“Guys, here’s your beloved cook and first in command. Anyone who cares for lunch better turns up in the next twenty minutes. I cannot guarantee anything after that.”

Leonard looks questioningly at Jim, who shrugs. “Scotty is not really good with sharing. You coming?”

 

 

+~+

 

 

A hand comes up around his throat. Laughter rings in his ears, bitter and evil and he wants to flee, to get away, but the hand at his throat won’t let him go, only tightens its grip.

Words are flung at him with so much hatred, but he can’t hear them over the roaring in his ears, blood rushing in his veins, panic keeping him from thinking straight.

Then his hands are free. He grabs a scalpel, clinging to it like it’s his life, and he surges forward, blood running down his arm, blonde hair flying as she hits the floor...

Leonard jerks awake, sweat running down his brow, breathing hard, and it’s all he can do to keep himself from screaming.

Just a dream. A dream. She’s dead, has been for years. Just a dream. He chants those words in his head, a mantra to calm his shaking hands.

A small noise makes him jump, and suddenly he can’t stay in his bed, in this room, too many shadows around him, and he gets up, slips into a pair of shoes and goes outside.

He’s not sure where he wants to go, even though a small voice in his head can’t help but wonder if he could end up in Jim’s quarters by accident again. He tries to ignore that voice.

And maybe it’s because he’s not really thinking about it, or not really awake, but for the first time he finds his way into the kitchen, and he stands in the doorway for a moment, blinking confusedly.

“Look who’s here,” someone snarls, and Leonard jumps as he turns to the voice.

It’s Scotty, sitting at the table, a bottle in his hand. Leonard almost walks out of the room again, doesn’t want to get into a fight with that man, but then he thinks fuck it, he’s as much right to be here as Scotty. So he sits down - across from the man, he’s not completely insane - and waits.

Scotty eyes him cautiously, one hand sliding under the table. When it comes back up, he’s holding a knife, and Leonard can’t help but tense and mentally calculate where to hit the man if he has to. But Scotty only takes the bottle, and slides the knife along the wax of the seal.

“So, doctor. You drink?”

Leonard nods.

“Good,” Scotty puts down the knife, retrieves two glasses from the cupboard behind him, and pours them both a generous amount of amber liquid.

Leonard picks up a glass, watches the light break in the whiskey, raises the glass to his nose and sniffs.

Scotty watches him, then holds out his hand in a toast. “To the stars and the night. May our voyage be save.”

Leonard couldn’t agree more as he tips his glass against Scotty’s. Their gazes lock, and Scotty adds, “You try anything funny, and I'll rip your colon out while you watch.”

Leonard leans back, hands tightening around his glass. “Fair enough. But you better be quick about that.”

Scotty smirks. “You even know how to kill a man?”

Leonard thinks of bloody hands, of a pulse slowing down under his hands, blonde hair streaming over a wooden floor.

“You bet I do. I’m a doctor after all.”

Scotty toasts him again, and smiles. “Good.”

Leonard is not sure he agrees when Pavel comes into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes.

“Oh hello. I did not think anyone was still awake. What are you doing?”

“We’re just getting acquainted. Right, doctor?”

Leonard doesn’t answer, only watches Pavel take in the scene.

“Oh, you drinking? Let me join?”

“Of course. The more, the merrier.”

Pavel sits down, watches Scotty pour him a drink, and tips it back in one swallow. Leonard winces.

“This is not bad. But in Russia we have better alcohol.”

Leonard almost chokes on his own drink at that. “You saying vodka is better than whiskey?”

Scotty chuckles. “He’s still young. He’ll learn.”

“I’m eighteen. I know enough about Vodka.” Pavel says indignantly.

“Eighteen? What are you doing up here? Shouldn’t you be at a university or something?” Leonard asks.

“My parents died when I was twelve. I am not safe on earth. So I’m in space.”

Leonard takes a sip of whiskey as he lets it sink in. Apparently this ship is full of people with issues. It’s almost too perfect for him, a murderer on the run from the Imperial Starfleet.

“And better for us you are. We’d have been lost more times than is good for us without you.” Scotty growls, tipping his glass towards the kid.

Pavel grins at that, and Leonard can’t help but smile.

Scotty keeps pouring whiskey whenever Leonard empties his glass, entertaining him and Pavel with stories of his life, disturbing and funny all the same, and Leonard loses count over how much he drinks, only knows that at one point he stumbles back to his quarters, not even surprised that he finds them again.

He strips to his boxers, falls into his bed, and is asleep before his head hits the pillow. He doesn’t dream again.

 

 

+~+

 

 

Leonard stands at the sink, waiting for the world to stop spinning. He could kill for a headache cure, but this sorry excuse for a spaceship doesn’t offer one, and he’s suffering in silence. Well, relative silence, seeing that he’s constantly cursing under his breath.

He swears that it's the last time he drinks with Scotty and Pavel. It's not for the first time in the last half hour it took him to climb out of bed and into the bathroom. This ship is not good for his health.

After a shower - and how he wishes it had been water instead of sonics to wake him properly - he stands in his quarters, scratching his neck absentmindedly. For a second he considers going to the sickbay and continuing his cleaning, but the pounding in his head tells him it’s a bad idea. Besides, he could kill for a coffee.

Once again he starts off into what he thinks is the right direction, only to wander around fruitlessly for half an hour and curse under his breath. Damn stupid ship. He walks along another corridor, half hoping to see anything familiar, when he hears someone calling out.

“Leonard?”

He stops, turns to see a door he just walked past. No wonder he can't find his way around when he can't even see doors. He looks inside the room and sees Hikaru standing at a table, surrounded by... “Plants?”

Hikaru chuckles at his tone, and he realizes he said that out loud. Great, now he is down to monosyllabic communication. The next thing he knows he’ll be grunting at people. He scowls at his thoughts and makes a step into the room.

“I mean, morning. Didn’t know you had a nursery around here.”

Hikaru shrugs as he sets a potted plant onto the table. “It’s more of a hobby. Some of them are quite helpful, though. Helped me with a hangover or two since I gotten here.”

“Which one?” Leonard asks, totally ready to drink the most revolting tea in the world to get the headache under control.  
Hikaru eyes him curiously, then smiles. “Had a few, hm?”

“I ran into Scotty last night.” Hikaru makes a face, and Leonard continues, “and Pavel joined us. I stopped counting after we downed most of Scotty’s whiskey.”

“Well, if he shared his whiskey with you, he at least doesn’t want to kill you anymore.”

“I feel honored,” Leonard says dryly. “He is a strange fellow, isn’t he?”

“Used to be a hired gun. Would kill anyone as long as the price was right. I think it takes a special sort of person to do that job. And Scotty enjoyed it on top of that.” Hikaru says, brushing off his hands on a hideous apron that clashes horribly with yet another of his silly Aloha shirts.

Leonard can’t help but raise an eyebrow. “You travel with a guy who likes killing people and does it for money?”

“Jim believes in second chances. And he kind of fits the crew. We all have... some kind of history.”

Leonard watches as Hikaru takes another plant, hands sure and gentle, treating it like someone might do their girlfriend.

“I met Jim at the academy. He tried to kill me. What assholes we'd been back then.”

Leonard blinks at that, but doesn’t say anything.

“You know, at Starfleet Academy, no one really gets between two fighting parties. Every bar fight turns into a fight for life or death. He had me at the point of a broken bottle, this close to cutting an eye out, when he suddenly left off and walked out of the bar like nothing happened. I still don’t know what had gotten into him. The next time I see him, he’s getting his ass handed to him by an Academy teacher.” Hikaru chuckles under his breath at the memory.

Leonard raises an eyebrow. “What happened?”

“Jim was… not good with authority. And he cheated at the Kobayashi Maru.”

“The what?”

Hikaru shoots him a look, then shakes his head. “I forgot you didn’t go to the Academy. The Kobayashi Maru is a test, meant to be failed by everyone. It's supposed to teach you a lesson about losing. Only Jim is not good at losing, so he tries it again and again, becoming some sort of celebrity, the guy who just can’t leave it alone.”

Leonard snorts. That sounds like the man he met a few days ago all right.

“When he kept failing, he hacked into the routine, rewrote the program, and won the stupid test. Spock, the instructor, was livid, and demanded ramifications. Which, at the Academy, means a fight in front of all students.

“Jim looked like he was losing big time for a while, I can tell you that. Got a nasty cut along his face, and almost bled to death. Then he got the upper hand again, only to let Spock go and declare the fight to be over.” Hikaru shakes his head again, like he can’t understand that decision at all.

“A few days later, I walk into him again. He’s busy stealing stuff, to put together a ship,” Hikaru taps his foot against the floor, “asking me to sod off or help.”

“Why didn’t you...?”

“Call him out? Let’s just say I’ve never been good with authority, either. And I kind of liked him.”

Hikaru’s smile doesn’t really reach his eyes, and Leonard knows that there is more to the story. But Hikaru doesn't seem like he wants to elaborate, and Leonard seizes the chance to change the topic.

“About that headache cure...”

Hikaru laughs softly, then turns to a shelf with various tins on it. “This is a recipe as old as my great-great-grandmother. Sometimes I wonder if it was as popular with her people as it is on this ship.”

Leonard watches as Hikaru measures two spoons of dried leaves into a mug, pours hot water over it and let’s it steep. When he hands Leonard the mug, he makes an apologetic face. “It’s not very great, taste wise.”

Leonard takes the cup. The brew smells like something the cat dragged in, and he makes a face. After the first sip, he coughs. “No offence, but that tastes like a dead cat wrapped in a sock.”

Hikaru chuckles. “Pavel once said it reminds him of his dead grandfather’s closet. But it helps.”

It does, Leonard can already tell. The low thrum in his head is already receding, and he takes a relieved breath. “Do I have to drink all of it?” He asks hopefully.

“No. You can drain it over there.” Hikaru points at the sink at the back of the room.

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay, really.” Hikaru shrugs, and turns to a potted plant again.

With his back to the room, Leonard chucks the rest of his beverage into the sink, trying not to breathe too deeply.

“Hikaru, I was looking for you. We are arriving at Rigel 5, and the captain wants you on the bridge. Oh, hello Lenny.”

Horrified, Leonard turns around, facing a beaming Pavel and a grinning Hikaru.

“Lenny?” Hikaru grins

“I really don’t...”

“You said we could call you it. Last night, in the kitchen.” Pavel says.

Leonard has the terrible suspicion that Pavel is telling the truth, even though he can’t remember that particular time of the night. “Erm, well, if you could forget about that,” he says pleadingly.

“But I like it. And Scotty already told everyone about it.”

Leonard groans, closing his eyes.

“Leonard? Are you alright? Is it the tea?” Hikaru touches his shoulder, concern heavy in his voice.

Leonard waves a hand dismissively.

“It’s the name my... someone used. Someone I don’t want to think about.” Leonard opens his eyes again, fixes his stare on Pavel. “Someone I really, really don’t want to think about.”

Pavel nods, and Leonard would love to tell him more, to explain his reaction. But he really doesn’t want to talk about his wife right now.

Hikaru chooses that moment to clasp Pavel’s shoulder and steer him to the door. “Come on, let’s go. Jim doesn’t like to wait.”

Pavel turns an interesting shade of pink as he stammers an answer. “Ye-yes. You coming too?”

Leonard shakes his head. “To the bridge? No thank you. I’d rather stick needles in my eyes.”

“Well, if you want, you can wait for us to beam down. I take it you want to leave us?”

Leonard nods, his mind already coming up with several plans to proceed once he’s on the planet. He still doesn’t miss how Hikaru tightens his hold on Pavel’s shoulder, or how Pavel turns even pinker.

He smiles a little, then stops. “Wait, before you go - how the hell do I get back to my room?”


	4. Chapter 4

It doesn’t take him long to pack his belongings, and afterward he stands in the room, not sure how to feel. He should be relieved that he’s going to be on a planet again. Lucky that no one has found them yet and he has all the time to make off to another part of the galaxy.

And yet he can’t help but feel that he’s going to miss this. Not the ship with its fucked up design. Not space, never space. But this crew, these people so unlike him, but all the same with their longing for freedom, most of them on the run from something. No wonder he felt a connection.

And Jim...

No, he’s not thinking about him. Not about his ridiculous blue eyes that seem to look into Leonard’s head without his permission. That too bright smile, making it almost impossible not to like the stupid kid. That lean body that makes Leonard wonder what Jim looks like naked, what it would feel like to wrap his hands around his waist.

No. He’s definitely not thinking about Jim.

As if on cue, he hears a voice behind him. “Hey Lenny, everything packed?”

Leonard flinches at the name, from the memories stored away in his head, and he turns around to face Jim. “Please, stop calling me that.”

Jim raises his hands in a placating gesture. “Okay, sorry. You don’t look like a Lenny to me, anyway.” He steps closer, the swagger of his hips not distracting at all. “Ready to go?”

Leonard swallows around the urge to step forward and kiss Jim, just this once to know what he’s missing. Instead he nods once, grabs his bag. “Ready when you are.”

They weave their way through the ship for what Leonard knows is his last time, so he doesn’t even try to remember the way, follows Jim and enjoys the view.

There are more people in the transporter room than Leonard thought would be, and the thought that they are here to see him off makes him swallow around a sudden lump in his throat. He wants to say something, but just in time, he realizes that all of them are standing on transporter pads.

He scowls. “Where are you going?”

Jim looks at him with a confused expression. “Rigel 5? Where do you think we’re going?”

Leonard can feel himself turn red, and huffs a breath. “I meant, smart ass, what are you doing down there?”

“Well, me and Hikaru here are going to make, let’s say, certain deals to acquire certain goods to run this ship. Scotty is doing whatever he does when he’s on a planet, and our dear Christine thinks you need new clothes and will happily accompany you on a excessive shopping trip.”

Leonard boggles at that. “Wait, a shopping trip? What do you think you’re doing? This is not a vacation. Starfleet will be on the lookout for me, and I don’t have the time to shop for clothes. I need to get away as soon as possible, find the most secluded spot in the galaxy and wait for the wind to die down. I’m not here to play a dress up doll for you. No offense.”

Christine snorts. “None taken. But do you really think people will take you seriously while you’re wearing those rags?”  
Leonard looks down at himself. She has a point, the sweater he’s wearing has seen better days, but it’s his last possession, and damn him if this makes him sentimental, but he’s kinda attached to it. “I happen to like this sweater,” he scowls.

“And I’m not saying you can’t. I’m just saying it will help you find someone willing to take you to your lone island with something less...” She waves her hand around, at loss for words.

“Space hobo?” Jim chips in.

“Very funny,” Leonard growls, but drags himself to a transporter pad nonetheless. The moment he’s on the planet, he’ll just get rid of Christine, and everything will be fine. No point in standing around and wasting their time.

Jim nods to Pavel, and before Leonard knows it, they're standing on a patch of solid earth, dust whirling around them. It’s all Leonard can do not to sink to his knees and kiss the ground.

Jim straightens, and fiddles with a chronometer. “Okay sweethearts, meeting time is four hours from now, exactly here. You have fun. And if something happens,” he taps his hip, “let me hear about it.”

He turns to go, hand coming up to shade his eyes from the sun. Leonard feels a slight pang in his chest and hears himself call out, “Jim.”

Jim turns around again, smiling, his hand dropping to his side again.

“Uhm, a minute?” Leonard asks, suddenly aware of the others standing too close, listening to intently.

“Sure.”

He takes a few steps to the side, out of earshot. He can see Hikaru smirking, Scotty roll his eyes. Christine looks off in another direction, distracted by whatever caught her eye.

“I just, uhm...” Leonard starts, mentally cursing himself. “I just wanted to thank you. For bringing me here. And for not handing me over to Starfleet. I’m really grateful.”

Jim waves his hand dismissively. “No problem. We outcasts have to stick together.”

Leonard bites his lower lip. “I mean it. Thank you.”

Jim steps closer then, his eyes glinting. “You don’t have to go, you know.”

Leonard shakes his head, looking to the ground. He can’t look into those eyes and stay strong. But he has to. “I’m not made for space, Jim.”

“I thought you were doing fine.”

“I almost puked all over the bridge.”

“You wouldn’t be the first. Or the last. Scotty is onboard.” Jim says with laughter in his voice.

Leonard shakes his head again. “I can’t. I’m too much trouble. If Starfleet finds out I’m on your ship...”

“I’m not afraid of them. But I would be worried about you.” Fingers find their way under his chin, tugging it up so he's looking into Jim’s eyes. “I really like having you around. As does my crew. And we could do with a doctor.”

“Is that the reason I should stay?” Leonard asks almost bitterly.

“One reason, Bones. One reason.” The fingers stroke up his jaw, up around his cheekbone. Leonard swallows and pulls back.

Jim takes a step back, smile strained. “I can’t make you come with me.”

Leonard’s heart makes a strange leap at that, and he wishes he could say something, do something about this.

He turns, about to go, when Jim calls out again. “Oh, and Bones?”

Leonard looks back over his shoulder.

“If you change your mind, Hikaru’s planning on making peach cobbler tonight.”

Leonard snorts, shakes his head, and turns to finally go.

“Oi, where do you think you’re going?”

He jumps slightly at Christine’s voice. She jogs up until she’s level with him, linking her arm with his. “Christine, I’m really not in the mood...”

“This is not about your mood. Now stop whining. We have four hours. We'll be lucky to find anything in that time.” And with that, she tugs at his arm.

He sighs and falls into step with her. He knows when he's lost a fight.

 

 

+~+

 

 

“Believe me, this looks good on you.”

Leonard scowls at his own reflection. He’s lost count of how many shops they’ve been in, of how many shirts and pants he’s already tried on. He distinctly remembers he didn’t get married again.

Christine is standing behind him, scrutinizing him like he’s a warp core gone wonky, and smoothes the shirt down his back once more. “It’s great. And it brings out the color of your eyes.”

Leonard rolls his eyes, takes a deep breath. How he deserves this, he’s not sure. He tried to get rid of Christine the moment they entered the first shop, but she wouldn’t go, was worse than any kid or wife he could imagine. She likes this, likes putting him through this, and he hates her a bit for it. Even if it is fun, in a way. Not that he would ever admit that.

“So what do you say? Is this a yes or a yes?”

“Fine, whatever. Are we done now?”

Christine scowls at him, tugging a strand of hair behind her ear. “Like we’re finished here. I have at least three other shirts I want you to try.”

“No. No really. I have enough. I need light luggage, you know.”

Christine opens her mouth again, but seems to change her mind. She smiles, and says, “Okay, fine with me. But you're buying me a coffee for my efforts.”

“I seem to remember that I didn’t ask you.”

“I seem to remember that you came along anyway.”

“You can drive a man insane.” Leonard says, chuckling.

“It’s one of my virtues.” Christine shoots back, smiling.

Still chuckling, Leonard goes to the checkout, wincing a little at the amount of credits he leaves in the shop.

“Stop moaning, it’s worth it.” Christine says.

She drags Leonard out of the shop, straight to a cafe they passed earlier. Dropping their bags, she slouches in her chair and lets Leonard place the orders. When the waiter brings the coffee, she smiles brightly, and returns to her position, eyes closed, mouth drawn in a small smile.

Leonard can’t help but look at her, her blonde hair falling to her shoulders, her skin shining in the sun, her demeanor laid back and happy. It’s not the first time he's wondered how she ended up on a ship like the Insurgency.

“You should stay, you know?” Christine suddenly says, turning to look at him.

Leonard startles at that and shakes himself. “What?”

“It’s just, we like you. I like you. And I know someone who would be really happy if you stayed.” She answers, smirking.

Leonard rolls his eyes.

“Christine, this isn’t something I can easily ignore. I stay with you, Starfleet will catch up with me sooner or later. I don’t want to endanger any of you.”

Christine snorts. “You don’t have to worry about us, you know. We can take care of ourselves.”

“Tell that to Rodriguez.”

Hurt flashes through her eyes, and Leonard almost regrets what he said.

“You have no idea what happened back then, so why don’t you shut up?”

Leonard leans back, cup in hands. He watches as Christine blinks away tears and almost apologizes, but he thinks better of it, and turns to stare at the clouds in the sky.

When Christine starts talking again, he has to strain to hear her voice over the noise around them.

“I sometimes wonder if we could have done something differently. If anything could have changed what happened. But that’s the bad thing about what ifs. You never know.” She turns to look at Leonard again, her eyes fierce. “I loved that man, I would have done anything to save him. And if I ever get the chance, those bastards are gonna pay for what they did to him.”

Leonard blinks, not sure what to say.

Christine leans back again, shaking her head, like she’s trying to shake the memories off herself. “We better get going, if we want to be at the meeting point in time.”

Leonard puts down his mug, grabs for his bags and tries to find the right words to bid farewell now, when the communicator at Christine’s hip starts to life.

“Guys, whatever you’re doing, stop doing it now. Meeting point as fast as you can. This means you too, Bones.”

Leonard blinks, and while he’s still making up his mind, Christine tugs at his wrist to follow her, and he does, blindly, walks swiftly through the masses, tries not to look as panicked as he feels.

They’re not far away, and they get to the meeting point ten minutes later, and Leonard looks frantically around for any signs of trouble, of a fight.

Jim turns up next, tugging at something in his bag, looking around. “Have you seen Scotty anywhere?”

“Nope. What is it?”

“There are Imperial goons around. Don’t know what they are doing here, but they saw me and Hikaru. We split up to make it here. Ah, here he comes.”

Sure enough Hikaru rounds a corner, Scotty in tow.

“What the fuck, can’t a man have a drink in peace?” Scotty growls.

“You drink way too much, anyway. Everyone here?” Jim looks around, like he’s doing a head count.

Leonard takes a step back, coughing slightly. “Maybe I should...”

“Bones, if those guys find you, you’re in as much trouble as we are. It’s better we keep together.”

Leonard hesitates for a second, thinking. He could make it on his own, it wouldn’t be the first time. And a part of him still thinks it may be for the best that he ends up with Starfleet, that maybe that’s where he's been heading all along.

“Bones,” Jim says, holding out his hand.

Leonard swallows, thinks of blood and blonde hair, thinks of Starfleet and of space. Looks into Jim’s eyes, swallows, and extends his hand.

Back onboard, Jim rushes from the transporter room, heading for the bridge. Leonard’s hand feels empty and cold. He shakes himself, puts the bags he’s still holding down and follows the others.

They meet a nervous Pavel on the bridge, hastily pushing levers and buttons and looking like he’s about to have a nervous breakdown.

“I don’t know how they found us, I did scan the area, I didn’t see them, they just showed up out of nowhere” he blathers, and Jim puts a hand on his arm.

“Hey, this is not your fault, okay? Just get us out of here as soon as you can.”

Pavel takes a shuddering breath, and nods. “Aye, Captain.”

Jim turns, looks at Hikaru. “Time to get our ass out of here, wouldn’t you say?”

Hikaru nods, and bends towards his instruments, when a beeping sounds blares through the bridge. “Erm, that would be them hailing us. Jim?” Hikaru looks questioningly at the man, his fingers on the console.

Jim lets out a frustrated breath, shakes his head, and waves at the screen. “Fine, whatever. Answer them. Make sure they only see me,” he says as he walks to the captain's chair, expression turning hard as he sits down.

Hikaru hits a button, and the screen turns itself on, showing the bridge of a spaceship.

“Hello, Jim.”

Filling out the screen is a young Vulcan, his Starfleet uniform glinting in the light, a goatee framing his mouth. “Spock,” Jim says curtly.

Leonard’s eyebrows shoot up on his head. The same Spock Hikaru had told him about? He looks at Jim.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve seen each other.” Spock answers in a cold voice.

“Not long enough” Jim trails the scar on his cheek absentmindedly, then leans forward. “What do you want?”

“Apart from the ship parts that are not rightfully yours?”

“Yeah, apart from that.”

“We have intelligence that you are host to someone Starfleet has a claim on. We would like you to hand him over to us.”

Jim leans back casually. “Sorry, but you know I’m slow on the uptake. Remind me again, who am I supposed to hide here?”

“Doctor Leonard McCoy. Terran descent, dark hair, pale complexion, six feet tall. Renown surgeon.”

“No, sorry. Doesn’t ring a bell.” Jim shakes his head.

“Our sources tell us that he was taken from a prisoner transport three days ago, standard time.”

“Maybe you should ask your guards where they put him.” Jim smirks.

“The guards tell us about a man fitting your description raiding the transport at about three in the afternoon, standard time.”

“Last Tuesday, you say? I think I was at the barber’s.” Jim says, inspecting his fingernails.

“Due to circumstances you would call luck, the surveillance camera wasn’t damaged, and we were able to retrieve footage of the attack.”

Hikaru scowls at Jim, and Jim shrugs his shoulders slightly.

The picture on the screen is replaced by a surveillance stream, a bad resolution tinted in sepia. Still, it’s more than obvious that it is Jim who storms the transport, stuns the guards.

Leonard watches himself check on Jim, watches as he shouts at Jim. Watches as they leave the shuttle together.  
Fuck.

The feed is gone, replaced once more with the face of Spock.

Jim acts surprised, his eyebrows high on his forehead. “You mean that transport. Yes, that was me.”

“I ask you again to hand us the prisoner you took from us.”

“Well, I really would love to, but I think I’m going to keep him. Sorry.” Jim shrugs.

“I’m not here for you, Jim. But I’m going to hurt you if you don’t give me what I’m asking for.”

“While you will let me and my crew and the ship that is technically yours go if I hand over McCoy.” Jim says sarcastically.

“That is my offer.” Spock answers.

“And you think I’m going to believe you.”

“I’m not asking you to believe anything. But I assure you that I will do as I tell you.”

“What about if I have to think about it first?” Jim asks.

“I am willing to give you 5 hours from now.”

“Well then,” Jim says and makes a gesture against his knee.

The screen turns dark.

Jim turns, looking at Leonard like he’s seeing him for the first time. “Well, you are a hot piece of meat, hm? Wonder why they want you so bad.”

“Because I invented death.”


	5. Chapter 5

How he finds the kitchen is beyond Leonard. He doesn’t pause to wonder, only heads to the cupboard, rummaging until he finds what he’s looking for. He pours the vodka into a glass, drowns it in one swallow and pours himself another one.

When Jim finds him, he’s sitting at the table, staring at the glass like it holds the answers to all questions.

“You invented death, huh? You are digging the melodramatic.”

Leonard scowls at Jim, tightens his grip around his glass.

“Wanna tell me more?”

Leonard really doesn’t. “When I still was married,” he starts anyway.

“You were married?” Jim asks surprised.

“Are you going to listen or do you want to ask stupid questions?”

“Sorry,” Jim says, holding up his hands.

“When I was still married, I worked with the Imperial Research Centers.”

“The body farms?” Jim asks.

“If you want to call them that.”

“I call them by what they are.”

“Whatever. I got the job through my father-in-law. One of the benefits of my marriage. I never really enjoyed research, always wanted to work with people.”

Jim snorts, and Leonard gives him a small smile. “Bad bedside manner notwithstanding.  
But I didn't really have a choice – when a Darnell provides you with a job, you smile and take it. So I smiled, tried to ignore what they were working on and spent my free time on my own project. What could it hurt, right?

“One day, I made a discovery. It was really simple, really nothing you could boast about, but something no one had mastered before. It was the cure to the common cold.

“When my supervisors found out, they praised me and took it to their labs, to ‘improve it’. I finally found out they altered it. One ingredient, just one, and it’s a weapon of mass destruction.” Leonard swallows, turning the glass in his hands.

“But isn’t that common in medicine? Mix it with something, take the wrong dose, and you snuffed it?” Jim asks, head tilting to one side.

“You don’t understand. You could wipe out planets with a drop, solar systems with a pint.”

“But that is not your fault.” Jim leans forward, puts a hand on his arm.

Leonard shakes his head. “l felt it was. Still do, in a way.”

“So?”

“So I ran away. Destroyed all my records, all the samples, everything they could possibly work with. Packed my bags and got out of there.”

“And you’ve been on the run ever since.”

“Yes.” Leonard drowns his glass, sets it down hard onto the table. “And maybe it’s time to stop running.”

“What? No wait. You’re not going.”

“Jim, what else is there? You wanna fight them?”

“If I have to! I’m not letting you go!” Jim tightens his grip on Leonard’s arm.

“But I have to! I can’t let you risk your life!”

“No! Remember, what I said about Rodriguez? That they killed him? That’s only half of it. Before they killed him, they put him into an Agony Booth for three days flat. Afterward, he wasn’t even able to stand. And you know how I know that? They made me watch. How he writhed in the Agony Booth, how he crawled out of it, begging them to stop. I can’t watch you getting tortured Bones. I can’t!” Jim swallows hard.

“Jim, I can’t run away anymore. It’s too late.”

“I didn’t take you as a coward. Tell me, why are you so keen to get to them?”

“Maybe because I deserve it!” Leonard shouts.

“For what? For wanting to heal people?”

“For killing my wife!”

The silence that follows is heavy with their panting, heavy with the words Leonard just said.  
Then Jim asks, barely a whisper, “What?”

“I killed my wife, Jim.”

Jim sits down, pours himself a not so small amount of vodka and motions Leonard to go on.

“Our marriage was arranged. My parents and her parents thought we could work out well together. I had potential, or something. In the beginning it was... okay I guess. We wouldn’t see each other often with her social obligations and my work. And I knew she had lovers, someone to warm her bed when I was at work.” Leonard takes a shaking breath as the memories come back, buried for so long.

“Then she changed. Suddenly, she wanted to spent time with me, wanted to be close.  
At first, I felt flattered, stupid and young as I was. She was beautiful, could seduce a man within seconds, and suddenly I was all she wanted.” Leonard pauses, swallows again.  
“She was also batshit crazy.”

“Did she hurt you?” Jim asks quietly.

“She would hit me, yes. Tie me down and fuck me with anything she could find. Cut my body with all sorts of sharp objects, only to remove the scars the day after.“ Leonard swallows, closes his eyes.

“She would threaten me that if I was to tell anyone, she would kill my parents and let me watch.”

“Bones...”

“The day I decided to run away from the Research Center, she was home early. I didn’t expect her to be there at all. She threatened me, told me to stay. Tried to lock me away, to make me stay.” Leonard looks up, meets Jim’s gaze.

“I didn’t want to hurt her. At least not much. I only wanted to get away from her, from the Imperial Guards alive. Then there was a scalpel in my hands. And I stabbed her, stabbed her until she wasn’t moving anymore.” Leonard looks down again, away from stupidly blue eyes. “That’s why I think I deserve to be punished.”

He pushes away from the table, strides to the door.

“Bones!”

Jim is next to him in a blink of an eye, looking at him pleadingly. “Please. You can’t go.”

“Why, Jim? What choice do I have?”

“This,” Jim says and pulls him forward, until their lips meet.

For a second, Leonard doesn’t move, only takes in the feel of those plush lips on his, the warmth, the slightly chapped skin.

Then he pushes back, kisses back, his hand coming up to cup Jim’s neck. Jim makes a happy noise at the back of his throat, presses closer, grabs Leonard’s shirt in his hands.

Leonard parts his lips, tilts his head to deepen the kiss, and Jim...

An explosion rocks the ship, making them stumble into the door.

Jim curses. “They can’t keep a promise once, now can they?” He asks, then his hand hits the intercom button next to Leonard’s head. ”Status?”

“We’ve been shot at!” Hikaru shouts over the intercom.

Jim rolls his eyes. “No shit. What did they hit?”

“Nothing vital. Yet.”

“I’m right with you. Get ready to fire back.”

Jim walks swiftly past him, and Leonard turns to follow.

“Where do you think you are going?” Jim snaps.

“Well, I don’t know. The bridge, maybe?”

“To do what? Stand around and look pretty? Or you think the sight of you puking your guts out will scare them away?”

Leonard grabs the front of Jim's shirt. “You think I’m gonna stay here and wait for any of you to come fetch me when this is over? This is my fault Jim, so I’m going to be a part of it!”

Jim shrugs out of Leonard's grip. “Fine. Whatever.”

Jim dashes out of the door, and Leonard does his best to keep up with him, heart pounding in his chest, eyes on Jim’s back. If any of these people got hurt or died because of him, he wasn’t sure he could forgive himself.

They run through the corridors, Leonard wondering why this ship can’t have any straight corridors, or turbo lifts. They round a corner when they hear Hikaru’s voice over the intercom. “Jim, they are trying to hail us. Guess they want to tell you the ultimatum is over.”

Leonard is amazed how calm Hikaru sounds, how he can maintain his sarcasm in a situation like that.

“Yes, I’m coming, jeez,” he hears Jim’s answer, only slightly breathless.

They run on, finally taking another turn, and Leonard sees the bridge looming before them, Hikaru fiddling with something, Scotty at the weapons panel. Leonard watches Jim jog to the Captain’s chair and starts to wonder where Pavel might be, when a hand comes around his neck. He chokes as he’s hurled backwards mid-step, pressed against a skinny body, a phaser digging into his side.

Time seems to come to a halt as he tries to say something, to demand what the fuck is going on, but the words get trapped in his throat, his breath too short to carry them.

He’s dimly aware that Pavel hisses into his ear, “You better not move,” just as Jim starts speaking again.

“So okay, I want those fuckers on the screen again pronto, and if they as much as look the wrong way, I want you to shoot them with everything we have. Bones, you better keep your mouth shut.”

Jim pauses, waiting for an answer, and Leonard can just picture his brow furrowing as Leonard doesn’t.

“Bones?” He asks again, turning in his chair. “You got that... what the fuck?”

Only then do they others turn around, only then Leonard hears a clatter as Hikaru drops one of his instruments. “Pavel, what are you doing?”

“Shut up. You heard the Captain. You were asked to return the Imperial prisoner and you didn’t. Now I’m going to hand him over.” Pavel answers with a sneer.

“Pavel, what the fuck is wrong with you?” Hikaru takes a step closer, and Pavel strengthens his hold, chocking Leonard even more.

“Don’t move. Don’t come closer.”

Leonard looks pleadingly at Jim, who rises out of his chair, hands up in a calming gesture. “Pavel, whatever they promised you, I assure you it’s not worth this. Just put away your phaser and let Bones go. Let’s sit down and talk about this. I promise we’ll find a way out of this.”

“Shut up! I don’t want to talk to you. I have my orders. I will bring back the prisoner to them.”

“After all what I did for you, this is how you pay me back? You’re not even going to listen to me?” Jim asks, stepping closer still.

“You did nothing for me. You are scum that attacks the Empire. You deserve punishment. He deserves punishment,” he tightens his grip around Leonard’s neck again, presses the phaser harder into his side.

“You were working for them all the time?” Jim asks, and Leonard can hear the hurt in his voice.

“Yes, I was. Was spying on you and your operations. They will reward me when I’m back. They will be proud of me.”

“Pavel,” Hikaru says, and Leonard feels the hold around his neck slacken as Pavel turns to look at the other man.

“You think I deserve punishment too?”

“You, you do. You are a rebel like him, scum like him.” Pavel stammers, not sounding convinced at all.

“You think I’m scum? When you said I’m your best friend only yesterday?”

“I, I didn’t mean that,” Pavel stammers, and the phaser drops an inch downwards, pressing against Leonard’s belt.

He changes his stance as Hikaru says, “Pavel, you know we love you. I love you. And you pretended to love us back. How could you?”

Leonard can Pavel swallow, hears tears in his voice as he answers, “It is my job. I do as I’m told.”

“Pavel, what is it you’re not telling me?”

It’s as if Hikaru found the right words, hit a nerve. Leonard can feel the grip around his neck loosen again, the phaser drop away, as Pavel answers, “They have my parents. They say they kill my parents. I have to help them. I have to...” he sobs, and Leonard feels almost sorry for him.

“Pavel, your parents are dead,” Hikaru says.

“No, they are not. It is what I told you to trust me. They are prisoners of the Empire, and I have to save them,” Pavel sobs.

Then he stiffens, his grip tightening again. “What do you think you are doing?”

Leonard turns to see that Jim has closed in on them, hand on his hip near his phaser, the other stretched out. “Pavel, if they have your parents, we can find a way to free them. Put away your weapon, and we will figure something out.”

“No, no, you can’t help me.” Leonard can feel Pavel’s other hand come up, feels as he hits his chest to activate his communicator.

“Enterprise, two to beam up.”

Leonard closes his eyes, ready to spring free once they are on the other ship - but nothing happens, and he’s still on the bridge, still pressed to Pavel’s body.

“Enterprise, incoming. Do you copy?”

Leonard doesn’t think, he just takes half a step to the side, brings his elbow up and slams it into Pavel’s chest. Pavel stumbles, letting go of Leonard. Leonard turns, not really thinking about what he’s going to do next, when Jim takes a step forward, grabbing Pavel’s wrist and trying to wrestle the phaser from his hands.

Tumbling against a console, Pavel tries to shake off Jim while still hailing for the Enterprise. Leonard is rooted to the spot, watching them struggle, when suddenly a bright light starts swirling around them.

“No!” he yells, his feet starting towards Jim. He can feel someone grab his shirt, holding him back.

Then Jim is gone.

Leonard stares at the now empty space, blinking. He hears the blood rushing in his ears, and he’s aware he’s breathing heavily. It should have been him.

He rounds to Hikaru who lets go of his shirts. “What the hell?”

“It is very unhealthy to jump into a beaming process. You should know that.” Hikaru answers drily.

“But Jim, he’s," Leonard tastes bile in his mouth and swallows, “he’s over there, alone.”

“I know. And we are going to get him back.”

“I really don’t want to be the party pooper here,” Scotty drawls, “but have you any idea how we are supposed to do that?”

Leonard turns to flash Scotty an angry look. “And where the hell have you been?”

“Well, maybe I was looking out to make sure we weren’t getting shot at again?”

Leonard snorts. “As if they would shoot us when they know that one of their cronies is on his way with me in tow.”

“Well, that didn’t keep them from doing it the first time.” Scotty points out.

“That was a warning, you know that as much as I do.” Leonard yells back.

“Yes? Why don’t you take your knowledge and shove it up your...”

“Ladies. As much as this might have a certain entertainment value, this is not helping.” Hikaru says, holding up his hands in a calming gesture.

Leonard huffs a breath, crosses his arms over his chest.

“Thank you. So, any ideas?”

“We could blow the ship apart.” Scotty says.

“Jim’s onboard that ship!” Leonard can’t believe what he just heard.

“I didn’t say it’s a good idea.”

“Yes, thank you Scotty. How about a good idea?”

“We could surrender.” Hikaru suggests.

“The hell you do that.”

Leonard turns, jumping at the voice behind him. Christine looks fierce, with her eyes sparkling and her hair standing up every which way.

“These suckers, they deserve to get killed individually, and slowly. Surrender my ass.”

“Well, yes, of course not. I didn’t mean actually surrender. I meant, we could pretend to surrender, make them think they’ve got us, and then jump them when they don’t see it coming.”

“Sounds nice and all, but I think they will kill us before we have the chance. They want him, not us.”

Leonard looks at Scotty’s finger pointing at him, and takes a deep breath.  
Scotty is right. They want him. And as much as he doesn’t trust them, there is the slight chance they will let the others live, let them go. Maybe even let Jim go. Leonard huffs a breath. Not very likely. But there is one way, he thinks. “I’m going.”

“What?” Christine asks incredulously.

“I’m going. I’m handing myself in.”

Hikaru puts a hand on his shoulder. “Leonard, you can’t. They will imprison you, torture you... And Jim... they won’t let him go.”

“I know. You think I’m stupid? But I can get him out of there...”

Scotty snorts. “You and what army?”

“Think about it. They don’t see it coming. I’m just a doctor, stupid enough to think they will let Jim go if I ask them to. It has an element of surprise.”

Hikaru taps his chin. “Okay, and how will you get back? It’s not like you could walk in and out of there like you want to.”

“The hell should I know? Can’t you beam us out of there?” Leonard asks, turning to Christine.

“If the shields are up? No.” She says, shrugging.

Leonard furrows his brow, thinking. “What about shuttles?”

“What about them?” Hikaru asks.

“Can we get one out?”

“In case you make it to the shuttle bay without being seen? Yes.”

“There. That’s the plan then.” Leonard crosses his arms over his chest.

“Leonard, this is madness. You won’t make it out of the cell, let alone into the shuttle bay. And there is the tiny matter of the ship being right in front of us.”

“Well, they could damage their weapons and the warp drive. Would make them as helpless as a newborn baby.” Christine says.

Hikaru huffs a breath. “Great. So they get out of the brig, into engineering, tamper with everything they find, waltz into the shuttle bay, steal a shuttle, come back and everything is fine?”

“Basically.” Leonard scoffs.

Hikaru throws his hands in the air, frustrated. “Whatever.”

“You have a better plan?” Leonard asks.

“No.”

“I thought so.”

“So what, I call them now?” Hikaru asks, turning to the console again.

“Show me to sickbay first.”

Hikaru’s eyebrows rise questioningly, but he walks past Leonard, leading the way.

In sickbay, Leonard unpacks the laser scalpel he only found yesterday, toggles the switch, listens how it comes to life. Strange how his life seems to revolve around these things, he muses as he slips it into his boot, careful not to let it slip under his foot.

Hikaru stands in the doorframe, still not saying anything. Leonard can almost hear his thoughts. Most of them are his own, but he can’t help it, he has to at least try and save Jim. He wouldn’t be able to look into a mirror anymore otherwise. He turns, nods at Hikaru, and they make their way through the messed up corridors of this messed up ship.

Not five minutes after Jim was beamed aboard the Enterprise, Hikaru types something on the control panel, and hits a button. The screen comes to life in front of them, showing the Enterprise as they wait for them to answer. Leonard feels sweat break out on his skin, running down his back. For a second he can’t help the irrational thought that they won’t answer, that there is no way of rescuing Jim. Leonard shakes himself as the screen first goes black, then shows the face of the Vulcan again.

“Doctor McCoy I presume?”

A shiver runs down Leonard’s back, and he swallows. His heart pounds in his chest, and he has to take another deep breath before saying, “You wanted me. Here I am.”

“So I see,” Spock says, arching an eyebrow. Leonard never wanted to punch someone in the face so hard before in his life.

“And I presume you want me to exchange you with Mr. Kirk?”

“That’s right,” you bloody bastard, Leonard adds in his head.

“Fascinating. I take it it’s clear you will come alone and unarmed?”

Leonard shifts his weight, feels the reassuring shape of the laser scalpel against his leg. “Yes.”

“Good.” Spock leans back, and Leonard swears he sees a smug look on his face.

“Lieutenant Mitchell, beam Doctor McCoy onboard please.”

Leonard braces himself, and this time he almost feels his molecules pull apart and come together again.

A breath later, he feels fingers clamp down on his arms, feels someone force him to his knees. He goes without struggle, looks up into the face of a security officer.

“Hold still,” the man sneers as he attaches cuffs to Leonard’s wrists, securing them behind his back.

“I am holding still, in case you hadn’t noticed,” Leonard snaps back.

It earns him a slap across his cheeks. It stings, but he doesn’t flinch, doesn’t make a sound, only looks defiantly back at the man.

“Stubborn, are we? Well, that will fade quickly once you’ve been to one of our agony booths.”

Leonard is hauled to his feet again and glares at the man, wrestling from his grip. “Yeah, whatever. Now do what they told you to do and stop wasting my time.”

The man chuckles, grabs Leonard’s arm and drags him forward. “Like you’re going anywhere other than the brig from now on.”

Leonard bites his teeth around the words that this is exactly where he wants to go.  
They walk out the door, along corridors and landings, when Leonard comes to a halt he asks, “What about my friend?”

“Your friend? Oh, you will see him soon enough,” the security officer says and starts walking again.

“You said you would let him go!” Leonard yells, hopes it sounds convincing, hopes his captors believe he’s stupid enough to believe they would keep their promise.

The man only chuckles. Apparently, it worked.

When they reach the brig, Leonard’s arms are hurting from the position they’re in, and sweat is running down his back again. The security officer stops, fiddles with a panel next to one of the doors that slides open.

“Here we are. Have fun you two.”

With that, Leonard is thrown into a dark room. The doors slide shut again, and Leonard takes a few seconds to get used to the lighting, a soft glow to the left of him.

He tries to straighten his back, get more comfortable, when he hears a voice. “Bones?”

Relief floods him, almost makes him stagger. Up until now a part of him had been worried they had killed Jim, took him somewhere else.

“Jim,” he starts, but words leave him when his eyes settle on him, hands also bound behind him, and he makes out his expression. He looks horrified.

“What... what happened? Where’s Hikaru? Scotty? Please, don’t tell me they are dead!”

“What? No. No, they are alright. They’re still on the Insurgency.”

“But how, how do you - what are you doing here?”

“I surrendered to Spock, Jim.”

“What the fuck, Bones? What do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m here to get you back!”

“Are you out of your mind?”

“Apparently I am, or I wouldn't be here. But I have a plan.”

“A plan, he says. Fine. What plan is that supposed to be?”

Leonard tells him, voice hushed in case they’re overheard, head bent so his lips are almost brushing Jim’s ear. When he’s finished, he leans back, watching Jim’s face.

Jim breathes deep. “You know, of all escape plans...”

“I know.”

Jim looks at him, grinning. “The absurd thing is, this might actually work. I really can’t believe it.”

Leonard smirks. “I have my moments.”

“I don’t doubt that.”

For a beat, they grin at each other, and Leonard is glad he’s here. In a way.

“So, what now?” Jim asks.

“Now you watch me,” Leonard says before he hooks his left leg around his right, steps on his toe cap and starts tugging.

“That looks interesting. You do the Crescent Moon next?”

“Very funny.” Leonard grumbles back as he tugs again.

“Maybe next time you should hide your escape tools somewhere else”, Jim says with a grin.  
“Next time, I’ll leave you with your friends to rot.” A last tug, and the foot slips free, the boot flopping to the ground. Leonard turns to look at it, huffs a breath, and goes to his knees to retrieve it.

“Bones, do you really think this is the time and place?” Jim asks.

Leonard rolls his eyes. “Instead of making stupid jokes you could help me here.”

“I don’t know. You look like you’re doing great.”

“I really don’t know why I even bother,” Leonard grumbles as he gets to his feet again, boot in his hand, turning it so the scalpel falls out of it.

Jim steps closer, looks into his eyes, grin growing bigger. “Because you love me.”

Leonard opens his mouth - to disagree, to agree, he doesn’t know - when with a clatter the scalpel hits the ground.

“Finally.” Bones grouses as he bends his knees again, ignoring that Jim is still standing very close, instead feeling for the scalpel. When he finds it, he rises, trying not to drop it.

Blindly, he fumbles for the switch, turning it to the lowest setting and twists it slowly in his fingers. He closes his eyes, levels his breathing and hopes this cell really doesn’t have a video feed. He feels the warmth of the laser against his skin as he tilts the scalpel a little, takes in a hissing breath.

“Bones, what? Are you hurt?”

He ignores Jim, tilts his head as he moves the scalpel again. After half an eternity, he feels the cuff around his wrist come loose, and he tugs himself free, bringing his hands to the front, turning off the scalpel as he does so.

His hand is an angry red, but it’s nothing, he’ll be fine, he's had worse. But Jim notices, can’t leave it alone. “Fuck Bones, what did you do?”

Leonard scowls. “It’s nothing. Really.”

Jim looks at him skeptically, but Leonard turns his attention to the cuff around his other wrist. Now that he can see what he’s doing, it doesn’t take long to break that cuff too, wondering if this sets up an alarm somewhere. Well, they would soon find out if it did.

Rid of his cuffs, scalpel in his grip, he looks at Jim. “Turn around.”

“I wondered when you would ask,” Jim says as he obeys.

Leonard rolls his eyes. “You think you are so cute,” he grumbles.

Jim chuckles, and Leonard slaps the back of his head slightly. “Hold still, will you.”

“Yes, Doctor.”

Jim’s cuffs go without a hassle, and he walks to the door, rubbing his wrists absentmindedly. “So, any idea how we open this?”

Leonard scowls at his back. “I thought you could come up with that part.”

“Good thing I'm smart.” Jim rolls his shoulders, flexes his fingers and inspects the door.

Leonard watches him work as he puts on his boot again, watches how Jim tilts his head, how his fingers drum on the ground, how his hands go to his head and he ruffles his hair. Jim mutters under his breath, and Leonard shifts his weight, waiting with bated breath, hoping there won’t be a guard right behind the door once it opens.

Seconds tick by, become minutes, and Leonard tries not to get impatient, not to urge Jim to go faster.

“Aha!” Jim exclaims, and Leonard watches as the door slides halfway open, then gets stuck. “Well, at least that's something.”

“Enough for me. Let’s go.”

Leonard is almost out of the door, eyes darting left and right, looking out for any guards, when Jim grabs his arm, yanking him back.

“What?” he snaps, the hair on the back of his neck raising, nostrils flaring.

Jim takes a step closer, fixing him with his blue stare, and Leonard swallows.

“Just in case we don’t make it,” Jim whispers, close enough for Leonard to feel his breath on his lips, “it was nice knowing you, Leonard.” Jim leans forward, kissing him briefly.

Leonard blinks, tries to wrap his head around what just happened - did Jim really just kiss him? - when Jim tugs at his arm again. “Come on, what are you waiting for?”

Leonard growls. That idiot will be the death of him.

They sneak their way out of the room, and Leonard already wonders where everyone might be, when Jim stops him with a hand to his chest. Jim leans back and whispers, “There’s a crewman around a corner. You wait here.”

Before Leonard can object - he’s the doctor with the laser scalpel after all - Jim is already gone, creeping around the corner. Leonard doesn’t dare watch, only hears a muffled thump. Then Jim is back, eyes glinting dangerously.

“Come on. Where there is one, there are many more.”

Leonard nods and starts walking again, trying to listen for any noise, watching for any movement.

When Jim stops in his tracks, Leonard almost walks into him. “Jim, what?”

“It’s Pavel.”


	6. Chapter 6

Leonard turns to look at what Jim's seeing, and his blood freezes at the sight. Pavel is trapped   
in a tube-like cell, suspended a few feet over the ground, his hands bound. Seeing him dangling in this thing is not the worst. The worst is the look on his face.

Leonard has seen his share of pain and agony and desperation. But he’s never seen anyone suffer as he’s sees Pavel now. He swallows hard. Despite the fact that Pavel wanted to hand Leonard over, he wasn’t sure the young man deserved that.

Just then Leonard can see the light in the cell change color, going a light red, and Pavel jerks, body convulsing in pain, and he lets out a cry like a wounded animal. Leonard swallows around the bile rising in his throat, and he turns away, looks to the ground, helpless and sick, when he sees movement in the corner of his eyes.

He turns to look at Jim who takes another step towards the cell. “What the hell are you doing?” he hisses.

“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m going to get him out of there!”

Leonard can’t believe his ears, and snaps back, “We don’t have the time for that!”

“I’m not leaving him in this thing!”

“But he...”

But Jim silences him with a look.”You want to leave, fine with me. I’m not leaving without him!”

Leonard sighs, crossing his arms over his chest. “I swear, if we get caught...”

“Cheer up Bones. That face will give you wrinkles,” Jim answers with his trademark grin. Leonard only scowls harder.

He knows Jim is right, knows that he wouldn’t be able to look at himself in the mirror anymore if he left Pavel behind suffering like that. But he also doesn’t want to end up in one of these things himself.

Jim approaches the control panel, eyeing it with interest. His fingers hover over buttons and levers, and Leonard wonders what’s going on his head, if he knows what he’s doing or if he’s going in blind, hoping for good luck. Leonard hopes Jim won’t fry Pavel accidently.

Jim crouches down some more, inspecting settings and numbers, and Leonard decides he’s not going to be much help anyway, and makes his way to the door.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Jim asks, and when Leonard turns, he’s not even looking at Leonard, his eyes are still on the console.

“I was going to invite some people over for tea. What do you think I’m doing? I’m looking out for the bad guys to walk around a corner.”

“Stop being dramatic. You’d better come over here and help me.”

“Jim, I’m a doctor, not a torturer. I don’t know how this works.”

“You don’t need to know how it works if you put that scalpel of yours exactly here.” Jim points to the console.

Leonard feels stupid for a moment, then he goes to the console, reaching for his laser scalpel. He toggles the switch, points and watches the plastic melt, watches digits disappear.

“Hm, just as I thought...” Jim muses aloud.

“What? Is it working?”

“Keep doing it,” Jim says and starts pulling a lever, his nose scrunched up in concentration.

There is a sliding noise, a small pop, and then the door to the cell opens.

“Whooohoo,” Jim punches the air with his fist.

Leonard switches off the scalpel and turns to watch the door slide open further. The anti-gravity fields collapses, and Pavel falls, crying out as his knees hit the floor.

“Shit!” Leonard curses as he rushes forward, arms coming around Pavel’s torso to steady him.

“Oh fuck, sorry Pavel. Didn’t mean that to happen.”

Pavel lets out a small moan as Leonard gathers him in his arms, lifting him from the pod.

“Yeah, as if you knew what you were doing in the first place.”

“Hey, this is my first time on a Starfleet ship too, you know?”

Leonard rolls his eyes and shifts his weight to strengthen his hold on Pavel. “Hey, you think you can stand?”

Pavel lets out another pained sound, and Leonard winces.

“Yeah, didn’t think so.” He turns to Jim. “So what now? I carry him around until you have another of your brilliant ideas?”

“One of us has to do it. And you are the doctor around here, right?”

“I swear, if we get out of here alive...”

“You will be very grateful. I know. I hear it all the time.” Jim turns to the console again, his eyes narrowing. “Bones?”

“Yes?”

“I think we have a problem?”

Leonard opens his mouth to ask what is wrong. At the same time an ear splitting alarm goes off, and Leonard jumps, almost dropping Pavel.

“I kinda feared that would happen!” Jim yells over the noise, and Leonard wants to punch him. He doesn’t get to do it. He doesn’t get to shout at Jim either, as the door slides open, and armed security guards swarm into the room, shouting and pointing weapons at them.

Leonard scowls at Jim, who only raises his arms.

“I said hands in the air,” a guard yells, waiving his weapon toward Leonard.

“What, do you want me to drop him?” Leonard yells back before he can think better of it.

Jim’s eyes widen in shock, and Leonard curses himself silently as the weapon of another guard hits his back, and his knees buckle under him. He hits the floor hard, holding on to Pavel so he won’t slip from his arms.

“You think this is fun? You let go of the prisoner and put your hands behind your head now!”

Leonard bites back another retort and takes a deep breath. He leans forward and lets Pavel slide from his arms as carefully as he can. Then he straightens again, sliding his hands to his head, his glare shooting daggers at the guard.

The man steps forward, yanking Leonard’s hair so he’s looking up at him. “So, was it that hard?” he snarls, and Leonard’s mouth becomes a thin line as he forces himself to keep quiet.

“I should kill you for that look alone, you know that?” The guy lets go of Leonard again, takes a step back, looks down at Pavel. “You think he’s worth the trouble? Worth dying for? He’s not worth the dirt on my shoes.” With that he swings back his leg and kicks at Pavel, his boot connecting with a sick noise.

He does it again, and again, Pavel moaning and crying with every kick, and Leonard’s nostrils flare as he shouts, “Stop that!”

“Or what? You’re going to hurt me? Kill me? You think you could do that?”

Leonard’s hands twitch behind his head. He wants so bad to get up and show the guy exactly what he’s thinking of doing, when he hears a voice over the intercom.

“May I require what is taking so long?”

The guard jumps. “The prisoners are not cooperating, Sir.”

There is a long pause, and the guard starts fidgeting. Leonard has to fight down a grin.

“Then stun them and bring them to my office. I have other matters to attend to. Spock out.”

The room goes silent again, and Leonard stiffens as one of the others raises his gun.

“What do you think you’re doing?”

“Stun them?”

“And carry them all the way to Spock’s office? No, I think they will come freely, now won't you?”

Leonard wants nothing more than tell the guard what exactly he thinks of him, but only gives him a curt nod.

The guard shoulders his weapon. “Okay guys, party’s over.”

Leonard is hauled to his feet, and cuffs snap around his wrists once more. Then someone shoves him in the back, and he starts walking, eyes on the floor. From the corner of his eyes, he sees someone stoop to lift Pavel from the ground, and lets out a relieved breath. At least they were done kicking him.

The way to Spock’s office is short and silent, the only noises are their shuffling feet and Pavel’s moans, growing softer and more infrequent. Leonard hopes this means he’s getting better, and is not dying from internal bleeding.

They stop in front of a door, and one of the guards hits a button. There is a buzz shortly after, and the door slides open. They get ushered inside, and Leonard finally looks up.

The rooms are plain, no signs of personal belongings to be seen. The desk dominates the room, as does the man behind it, golden waistcoat glinting in the light.

“Doctor McCoy. It is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

Leonard sneers, can’t help himself. “I would say it’s mutual, but that’s not the case.”

Jim next to him winces, and Leonard raises an eyebrow as he looks over at him.

Spock only looks at him, impassively, detached, then turns to the guard. “Leave us alone.”

“Sir!” The guards leave, the one carrying Pavel putting him into one of the seats before scuttling out of the door.

For a moment, no one says a word. Seconds stretch, and Leonard can feel his shoulders start straining, as Spock sits down, fingers splaying on the desk.

“As you may know, very influential people are concerned about your well-being. Which is why you weren’t put in one of the agonizer booths when you arrived on this ship.” Spock pauses, leaning back in his chair. “However, I cannot let behavior like yours go without punishment. It would undermine my authority as Captain of this vessel. So I hope you will refer from trying to escape from now on.”

Leonard can tell Spock is not yet finished, so he only tilts his head, waiting for what’s next.

“Since you cannot be harmed, I would ask of you to choose from one of your companions who is going to suffer for your actions.”

Leonard’s head snaps up at that, and he stammers, “N-no, you can’t do that, they have nothing to do with this, I came on my own, you can’t...”

Spock holds up one hand to silence him. “You certainly see my dilemma here. I would prefer you to choose, or I’ll have to do it for you.”

Leonard feels cold dread run down his spine. This is hell.

“Bullshit.”

Leonard turns to look at Jim. Blue eyes blazing, he leans forward as he speaks to Spock. “Utter bullshit.”

“Excuse me?” Spock asks, eyebrow arching upwards.

“I always thought you Vulcans were so logical. So detached from emotion.”

“That is our way.”

“So why work for the Empire?”

The question is heavy, like they've had the argument before, and Spock almost smirks as he answers, “It is logical to work for the force that is the strongest.”

“But why treat people differently? Why torture one when leaving the other alone? Why let one person rule over everyone? Why try to be in their good graces?”

Spock’s lips grow thin, and Leonard can tell that this is not the first time he’s considering this, wondering if this is the only way to go. Leonard can’t help but feel a small spark of hope deep in his gut. If Jim plays this right, they might have a chance to survive this, might get out of here unharmed.

“It is the way the system works. There is no other way.”

“That’s not true and you know it. You read the same books I did back at the Academy. You know of democracy and freedom.”

Spock gets out of his chair, wanders to the small window next to him. “Let’s say those stories are true. What can a single man do?”

“More than you think. A single man can do a lot if he knows where to start.”

“But that is treason.”

“It’s the start of something new.”

Spock turns to look at them again, eyebrows pinched together.

“Think of it, Spock. Think of the logic of freedom, of people being able to make their own decisions, their own mistakes.”

Spock opens his mouth, and Leonard leans forward in anticipation.

With a bang, the door falls from its frame, and a phaser shot rings through the office, hitting Spock square in the chest.

“No!” Jim and Leonard shout simultaneously as Spock falls limbless onto the ground.

Scotty barges into the room, phaser in his hand and grin on his face. “No, fine, don’t thank me. I’ll save your lives any time.”

“But I... dammit, I almost had him,” Jim yells.

“Can you do anything but whine. Jeez.” Leonard hears another voice, and his eyes widen in disbelief as Christine saunters in, a phaser of her own in her hand.

She wears a women’s Starfleet uniform, which equals to almost nothing, and Leonard cannot help but stare at that skirt short enough to nearly be not there at all. Only then does he realize that Scotty is wearing a red shirt, Starfleet logo on his chest and boots high over his knees.

“Leonard, you’re drooling,” Christine says with a laugh, then she bends down to Spock to retrieve something from his pockets.

Leonard pointedly looks at the ceiling.

“Do you want to tell me what you are doing here?” Jim asks.

“Saving your ass. What does it look like?” Scotty answers with a grin.

“Yes, I can see that. But how did you get here?”

“Well, your friend here,” Scotty kicks Spock slightly, “sent someone to ‘persuade’ us to surrender. We hit them hard over the head, stole their uniforms and pretended to be them, asking to be beamed back after killing everyone.”

“And what is Christine doing here?”

“Well, genius," Scotty say mockingly, "Spock sent a woman. And Hikaru looks silly in that dress. Besides, someone needed to stay behind to fend off other attacks and help us get back to the ship.”

“Yeah, and I wanted a shot at getting back at these bastards. For what they did to Robert.”

“Christine, I told you what I think of vengeance.”

“Yes. I didn’t listen.” Christine shrugs.

Jim rolls his eyes and starts to answer, when Leonard chimes in, “As nice as this is, and as much as I appreciate seeing you, you think we could get back to the ship now?”

“Yeah, he’s right. Let’s go.”

“Wait. Aren’t you going to free us from this stupid cuffs?” Leonard asks.

“Not as long as we are pretending to return you to your cells. You’ll have to wait for a while longer.” Christine grins.

Leonard sighs, but keeps silent. She does have a point. He’s ready to go, when he sees Jim kneel down next to Pavel, nudging his shoulder. “Hey, you alright?”

Pavel groans as his eyes flutter open, his gaze flicking over the scene in front of him, settling on Jim. “Please, don’t hurt me. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I didn’t have a choice.”

“Psht, no one is going to hurt you.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that,” Scotty mumbles, but Jim ignores him. “We’re getting you out of here. You think you can walk?”

Pavel blinks surprised, stretching his legs as he nods. ”I think so, yes.”

Jim nods, gets up from the floor again, walks to the door to take a look outside. “Doesn’t seem like anyone heard your stealthy encounter with the door.” He smirks as he looks back at Scotty. “Come on, let’s get outta here.”

They head outside, and on their way back to the transporter bay, trying to look as unsuspicious as they can, prisoners on their way back into their cells, heads bowed, feet shuffling. Leonard tenses at every noise, only waits for something to go wrong, but miraculously no one stops them.

Just when Leonard starts breathing lightly again, he hears heavy footsteps hitting the ground, and he hunches his shoulders some more as a female officer brushes past them. Leonard doesn’t look up, only sees her legs as she walks past him, and he closes his eyes briefly, hoping for her to mind her own business, but.

“Hey, you. What happened to saluting?”

Now Leonard looks up in time to see Christine turning around, a slight pink flush to her cheeks. “Sorry, ma’am. Won’t happen again,” she says in a hushed tone as she hits her chest with her right fist, then straightens her arm in a greeting gesture.

The officer walks closer, and Leonard can see her now, her dark eyes narrowing as she squints at Christine. “I should punish you for this here and now. You’re lucky I have to be somewhere.” Her voice is pure venom, and Leonard shudders to think what exactly she had in mind as a punishment.

Christine gulps audibly and stammers, “Ye- yes, ma’am”.

The officer turns to look at Jim, at Leonard, at Pavel, and her eyes narrow some more, and Leonard can’t help but think that they’re fucked. “What are you doing here anyway?” The officer inquires. Leonard can feel Jim tensing next to him, and hopes he won’t do anything rash.

“Special orders from the Captain, we're taking these fuckers back to their cells,” Scotty drawls, and Leonard is glad someone keeps his head.

“Are you now? And who are you? I can’t remember seeing you here before.”

“Transferred here last week. Haven’t gotten around to introducing myself properly yet,” Scotty answers. Leonard can see his fingers twitch towards his phaser.

“I think I would know of any transfers lately,” the officer grumbles, reaching for her communicator, “I will have to check this.”

Leonard watches with dread as she lifts the communicator to her lips, can see the panicked look Christine shoots Jim.

“Uhura here, I need you to confirm...”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Scotty growls and draws his phaser.

“No!” Jim and Leonard yell at the exact same moment, but it’s too late, the shot ringing through the corridor, the communicator falling from Uhura’ s fingers as she hits the ground.

Leonard can only stare at her, only dimly aware that Jim is shouting at Scotty.

“Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“What? I only stunned her. Jeez, don’t wet your pants,” Scotty answers grumpily.

“You idiot, the whole ship will be after us, whoever was on the other end heard that shot, as well as everyone else close to us, can’t you use your brain for once?” Jim is shaking with rage, and it’s probably Scotty’s lucky day Jim is still wearing his cuffs. And Leonard too, for that matter.

“You think I don’t know that? What was I supposed to do? Let her ask her friends if we are legit? That wouldn’t have changed anything, and you know that!”

Jim lets out a frustrated sigh. “Right, whatever. Not the time. Let’s just see that we get out of here before…”

A phaser shot misses Jim by an inch, and Leonard turns just in time to hear the bellowed “Freeze!” addressed at them.

“Great! Just great!” Jim curses. “Happy now?”

Scotty grins, and Leonard decides it’s the most frightening thing he’s ever seen.

“You bet I am.” With that, Scotty steps forward, phaser pointing at the three security officers who are aiming their phasers at them.

“So, who wants to go first?” Scotty asks, and Leonard can’t believe the guy’s actually laughing.

Then the first shot hits a wall next to Scotty, and Jim snaps, “Christine, get me out of these things!” Christine jumps, and fumbles with the cuffs until they fall from Jim’s wrists.

“You take care of Pavel!” Jim shouts at Leonard before he shoots at one of the security officers with the phaser Christine hands him.

“You can bet your ass I will,” Leonard mumbles, his words lost in the clatter his own cuffs make as they hit the ground.

Pavel only blinks at him, crouched against the next wall. At least he doesn’t make a move to join the bad guys again. Leonard takes another phaser from Christine, and turns around to see three security officers lying on the ground, Jim nudging one with a foot.

“We really should get out of here,” Christine says, and just as they start walking down the corridor, more officers keep popping around corners.

Leonard loses track of how many people they have to dodge, the trip to the transporter room is a blur, and the only thing that feels real is Pavel’s back under his palm where he keeps him down, trying to protect him. He shoots one or two uniformed guys himself, baffled over how fast he reacts, but there's no time to ponder on that.

They storm into the transporter room, and Leonard half expects there to be more fighting, but there are only bodies on the floor, and he stops, looks at Scotty questioningly.

Scotty follows his gaze and shrugs his shoulders. “Had to stun them, too. They were going to tell on us.”

“Come on, this is no hen party,” Jim yells, dragging Leonard with him to the transporter pad. “Let just hope they haven’t activated the shields again.”  
v  
Leonard looks at Jim, almost too afraid to ask. “What happens when we try to beam through the shields?”

“Nothing pretty,” Jim answers, and Leonard decides he doesn’t want to know.

Pavel runs to the controls, fiddling with levers and buttons, only to utter a curse. “Captain, the shields are up.”

“Fuck!” Jim swears.

“I can disable them from here.” Pavel looks up. “But I won’t be able to beam aboard the Insurgency with you.”

“No, I’m not leaving you behind,” Jim yells.

“You must. You have no other choice.”

Jim looks at Pavel, eyes scanning his face. “You sure?”

Pavel nods, and Leonard breathes deep. Pavel starts hitting buttons, making adjustments. “You better get away as fast as you can. I will try and get into engineering , destroy their weapon systems.”

“Pavel, you can’t! It’s too dangerous!”

“They won’t suspect me at first. And until they realize what I’m doing, it will be too late. Don’t worry about me.” Pavel swallows. “And don’t come back to get me. I will try to keep the shields lowered long enough for you to do as much damage as you can. Destroy this ship if you can.”

Jim opens his mouth to speak, but Pavel raises a hand. “Tell Hikaru,” he starts, but bites his lips, shaking his head.

Leonard heaves a sigh.

Pavel hits a final button, and Leonard can feel himself dissolving, and with a swirl of light, the Insurgency is back.

“Okay, see that you get Pavel out of there asap,” Jim bellows. “I need to get to the bridge.”

He rushes out of the room, and Christine sighs, then steps to the control panel.  
“Go on, go after him. I can handle this.”

Leonard doesn’t doubt that for a second, only waits for Scotty to lead the way.

Scotty surprises him by going to Christine, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. “I love competent women,” he growls, and she giggles as he pulls her closer, kissing her on the mouth.

Leonard’s mind boggles, and he tries not to stare, but it’s like a shuttle crash watching Scotty’s tongue push into Christine’s mouth, Christine grabbing his shirt like a lifeline. Then the moment is over, Christine pushing at Scotty’s chest, pulling back.

“Go! I have something to do, you animal!” she says breathlessly, a laugh in her voice.

Scotty slaps her playfully on her behind, then walks to the door, turning to Leonard. “You coming or what?”

Leonard glares at him, and together they weave through the corridors of the Insurgency again. Leonard almost missed this. Almost.

When they arrive on the bridge, Jim is in the chair, looking at the Enterprise like it will fall out of space if he wills it to. “Okay Hikaru, give it all you have!”

“What about Pavel?”

“We are working on it. Now would you please shoot!”

Hikaru gives Jim a skeptical look, but does as he’s told, pulling levers and hitting buttons. A green phaser beam shoots through space, hitting the Enterprise full force. Sparks fly and Leonard watches as parts of the ship splinter away.

“Warp drive down to 10%, weapon systems the same,” Hikaru reads from an instrument.

“Perfect.” Jim hits a button on his armrest. “Christine?”

“Got him in one piece.”

“Okay guys. Let’s get out of here.” Jim sweeps to his feet, strolling to the door.

Leonard reaches out for him, grabbing his arm. “Why not destroy it while you can?”

“I don’t like killing people. I thought you would understand.”

Leonard does.

“You think this is a good idea?” Scotty drawls from where he’s standing, and Leonard almost jumps. He’d totally forgotten about the man.

Jim turns around, facing Scotty, eyes narrowed. “What do you mean?”

Scotty shifts his weight, crosses his arms in front of him. “I mean, letting a mole back on the ship. Is this such a good idea?”

Jim huffs, makes a face. “He’s not a mole.”

“No? So who do you think told Starfleet about our position? Not to forget that he wanted to take pretty boy here,” Scotty adds, pointing at Leonard, “over to the evil guys. I’d say we leave them to deal with him.”

Jim shakes his head. “No. You didn’t see what they did to him. I’m not leaving him to that.”

“Probably deserved that, the old...”

“Enough! I’m not leaving him behind. Besides, he deserves a second chance.” Jim pauses, fixes Scotty with a ice cold stare. “Like all of us, right, Scotty?”

Scotty licks his lips, eyes glinting dangerously, and for a moment Leonard’s sure he’s going to draw a weapon, or jump Jim, but then Scotty huffs a breath, shakes his head. “Fine, whatever. Don’t say I didn’t warn you!”

With that, he stomps from the bridge, past Leonard and down the corridor, and Leonard can’t help but roll his eyes.

Jim gives a snort, and turns to Hikaru, waving his hand. “Let’s get out of here, okay?”

Hikaru nods and pushes a lever, accelerating the ship to get away as fast as she can.

“Leonard?” Jim asks, and Leonard startles a bit, only now realizing how close Jim’s standing.

“Yes?”

“Could you look after Pavel? Make sure he’s not hurt too badly?”

Leonard nods, and turns around, staring at the corridor. “Well, let’s see if you let me find the way this time, shall we?” he says under his breath, all too aware that it is a bad sign that he’s talking to a ship.

Not that it helps, as it takes him ten minutes and two wrong turns to find his way, peering into the transporter room like he’s fully expecting to find something else. But there they are, Christine standing behind the panel, frowning down at the display like it offended her. Pavel sitting in a chair, head between his knees, breath shallow.

Leonard enters the room, comes to a halt next to Christine. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

“You alright?” He asks, concern in his voice.

“I’m stellar. Even if you think I might be suffering from severe brain damage from what you saw earlier.”

Leonard shrugs his shoulder. “None of my business, really.” He turns to look at Pavel. “What about him?”

“Don’t know. Hasn’t said much since he’s been back.”

Leonard walks to Pavel, looking for signs of injuries or pain, but Pavel sits there, head in his hands, breathing deeply.

Leonard crouches before him, puts a warm hand on his knee. “Hey kid. You alright?”

Pavel nods almost imperceptibly, but it’s a reaction, and Leonard breathes a bit more freely as he shifts closer.

“You think you could look at me?”

For a long moment, nothing happens. Leonard takes a deep breath, tries to be patient. Squeezes Pavel’s knee softly. Then Pavel straightens, his trembling fingers falling from his face, revealing bloodshot eyes, and drying tear stains on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry,” he croaks, a desperate whisper before a sob escapes his throat, and he buries his face in his hands again as he starts crying, shoulders shaking with the force of it.

“Hey, hey,” Leonard says, his hand coming to rest on Pavel’s shoulder. “It’s alright. You’re safe now.”

Pavel only sobs harder, and Leonard squeezes his shoulder, at a loss for words.

They stay like this for God knows how long, Leonard’s knees protesting, and he’s close to losing his patience, when Pavel stops, heaving deep breaths as he looks at Leonard again.

“Better?”

Pavel nods, his curls flying around his head, and Leonard gives a smile. “You think you can come with me to check if everything is alright?”

“I think so,” Pavel answers, his voice still weak.

Leonard stands, holding out his hand for Pavel to take.

Pavel shakes his head, raises from the chair unaided, only to wince halfway up, his hand going to his left side. “Whoa there, easy boy,” Bones says, reaching for Pavel, steadying him.

He puts an arm around Pavel’s waist, steadying him as they walk towards sickbay, glad that the kid can tell him the way.

Once there, Leonard pushes away boxes to get a tricorder. It’s an old model, a wonder it’s still working, but it will do for now. He scans Pavel, noticing with relief that nothing’s broken, no damage to the organs.

“You are one lucky bastard, you know that?” he says to Pavel, patting his knee. “You tend to these bruises, and try to keep out of any fights for the next few days, and everything will be alright.”

Pavel smiles weakly at him, and looks exactly how Leonard feels - like he could use a long and peaceful holiday.

They walk to the bridge together, Pavel smiling shyly at Hikaru as he returns to his seat in front of the screen, and Leonard comes to stand behind Jim in his chair.

“Mended your pilot for you,” he says dryly, looking down.

“Okay, thanks Bones. Oh, and we’ll get you to a safe haven the moment we arrive at a planet.” Jim smile is strained as he looks up, reaches for his hand, squeezes it briefly before looking at the screen again.

Leonard blinks, confused. What the fuck was that about? He watches Jim, his mind racing. Is Jim really throwing him off the ship? After all that happened, after all they went through?

“Do you have any preference where you want to go?” Hikaru asks, and Leonard can’t believe this, can’t believe they are really getting rid of him. He’s aware Hikaru’s watching him, but he can’t find the words to say what he’s thinking right now, so he just shrugs, and leaves the bridge.

This time, it doesn’t take him long to find his room. He closes the door, leans against it for a second, and his gaze falls to the bag he packed, the glass of water on the nightstand.

With a pang in his chest, he realizes he doesn’t want to go, is really getting used to this ship, to the people onboard. He had really started picturing himself as a ship's doctor, mending broken bones and phaser wounds, staying behind and worrying about Jim, about the others.

He shakes his head. Typically him, suddenly wanting something he’d always thought he would hate.

His eyes stray to the book Jim has given him, fuck, three days ago, how could his life turn upside down in such a short time? He takes the two steps to the bedside table, picks up the book. Flicks the pages to find the place he’d stopped. What a pity he won’t get to find out how it ends.

He sits down heavily on the bed, his eyes on the book, not really seeing it. Grips the book tighter, fingers digging into the cover as anger washes over him.

How dare Jim decide what Leonard wanted? Leonard couldn’t decide what he wanted. He’s aware he’s shaking, and takes a deep breath. He gets off the bed, starts pacing the room. Comes to stand in front of the shelf, his gaze falling to the picture of Rodriguez.  
The young man looking back at him is young, looks carefree and happy. Behind him there's a row of trees, a small lake. Leonard wonders how close to his death the picture's been taken.  
He takes a trembling breath. He doesn't want to end like Rodriguez. Fuck, he doesn't even want to be in space if he's honest, and yet.

He doesn't want to leave either, feels too connected to this bunch of idiots, too much at home to just turn his back, as stupid as it sounds.

He runs a hand over his face, takes a deep breath. Fuck, but his life is a mess.  
He looks down at the book in his hand, and makes a decision. Turns around and opens the door. Time to talk to the captain.

It doesn't take long to find Jim's quarters, surprisingly he remembers the way, and not a minute later he's knocking on the door like the ship’s on fire.

“Yeah, come in. Jeez,” he hears behind the door, and he steps back as it opens. Finds himself face to face with Jim, hair tousled and eyes wide open in surprise.

“Bones? What is it? Something happened?”

Leonard pushes past him, comes to stand next to Jim’s desk. “You bet. I’ve had it with your bullshit is what happened!”

Jim is still standing at the door, blinking like a confused owl, hand raking through his hair. “What? Bones, you’re not making sense at all.”

“Is that so? I thought it was the other way around.”

“What?”

“What is wrong with you? You think you can throw me off your ship now that you don’t need me anymore? After what I went through to get you back?”

“Bones, I...” Jim stops, taking a step closer. “Wait, are you saying you don’t want to go?”

“You bet I am!”

“Okay, first of all, stop yelling at me. I have one hell of a headache.”

Leonard opens his mouth to say something, but Jim raises a hand to silence him, so he only huffs a breath and crosses his arms in front of his chest.

“Second, and remind me if I’m wrong, you said you wanted to leave at the next planet we find, right?”

“Yes, but that was before-”

Jim raises his hand again. “Right?” he asks, his voice growing louder.

“Yes.”

“So, here we are, on the way to a planet again. Tell me, how am I supposed to know you changed your mind?”

“I don’t know. I thought the fact that I came to get you was a pretty obvious.”

Jim smiles, and takes another step closer. Only now does Leonard realize Jim’s wearing only boxers, and he swallows.

“I appreciate you came to save me, I really do. I can’t tell you how happy I was to see you. But that doesn’t make me a mind reader.”

“But how could you think I could leave you behind after all that happened?”

“Maybe I didn’t want to hope too much? Maybe you aren’t as transparent as you think?”

Leonard presses his lips together, takes a deep breath. Asks, “You want me to go?”

“I couldn’t think of anything I want less.” Jim steps even closer, his scent filling Leonard’s nose. “I wanted you to stay the day I met you.”

Leonard clears his throat, suddenly not trusting his voice. “Why?”

“You have no idea how hot you are, right?” Jim asks, and Leonard snorts a laugh.

“Right, that wasn’t the only reason.” Jim is now close enough that Leonard can count the freckles on his nose. “It was when you didn’t want to leave the Imperial transport without checking on me. It’s hard to resist stubborn competence.”

Leonard lets out another snorted laugh, making Jim smile. Then Jim’s gaze drops, and he reaches out, touching Leonard’s wrist.

“You wanted to give this back?” Jim asks, and Leonard follows his gaze, realizing he’s still holding the book.

“Actually,” Leonard starts, looking up just as Jim does, “no. I’m not finished yet.”

Jim smiles at that, a true, open smile, and Leonard can’t help but smile back.

Jim takes another half step forward, invading Leonard’s personal space. Leonard’s fingers dig into the cover of the book again as he tries not to move, even if he doesn’t know where he would be going.

“Bones?” Jim murmurs, lips close to Leonard’s ear, and Leonard shivers involuntarily at the hot breath ghosting over his skin.

“Hm?”

“Just to make sure: I think you would like to kiss me now. Is that right?” Leonard can hear the grin in Jim’s voice as his hands find Leonard’s hips.

“That’s right,” Leonard answers, his voice low.

Jim leans even closer, turns his head so their lips almost meet. “Maybe you should do it then,” Jim mumbles, lips brushing against Leonard’s.

So Leonard does, closing those last millimeters between them, book clattering to the floor as his hands come up to bracket Jim’s face.

The kiss is everything and nothing like the one in the kitchen, both of them clinging to each other without the imminent possibility of death, and Leonard gets lost in the feel of Jim’s lips, slightly chapped and dry, but soft and pliant underneath his.

Jim’s hands wander to the rim of Leonard’s shirt and underneath, fingertips touching warm skin, skimming along the waistline of Leonard’s pants.

Then Jim suddenly pulls back, hand reaching up to tilt Leonard’s head so their gazes lock, and for a moment, Jim only looks at him, like he’s searching for something. Leonard holds completely still, looks back at Jim with the most open, honest expression he’s got.

Jim smiles softly, like he found what he was looking for, and pulls Leonard closer, kissing him again. Jim’s hands come up to cup his face, and he opens his mouth under Jim’s probing tongue.

Leonard groans as he kisses back, tipping Jim’s head back, running a hand down his chest, feeling his heart beat. His other hand comes up to cup Jim’s head, fingers running through short hair. Jim tugs at his shirt, and Leonard leans back to remove it with one fast motion.

Jim looks at him hungrily, and Leonard can’t help but blush a little. But Jim only mutters, “Beautiful, fuck, Bones,” and kisses him again, hands roaming his chest.

Leonard moans as Jim finds a nipple, kisses him hard as he runs his hands along the outline of his ribs, and slaps away his hands as he finds a ticklish spot. Laughing, Jim takes a step back, hooks his fingers into the waistband of his boxers and lets them fall to the floor.

Leonard gets rid of the rest of his clothes, and steps close to Jim again, hands going round to grab his ass. Jim smiles into the kiss, then moans as their cocks slide together for the first time. Leonard's head starts spinning as he moves Jim to the bed, down onto the mattress. Jim bucks his hips, and Leonard moans into his neck.

They find a rhythm rutting against each other, and at one point Leonard wraps his hands around them both, jerking them off hard and fast, and they both come shuddering hard.

Leonard lies down next to Jim, his chest rising and falling, brushing a finger over the scar on his face.

“So I take it you’re staying?” Jim asks still a bit breathlessly

Leonard rolls his eyes, boxes Jim lightly on the arm and snorts.


	7. Chapter 7

A few days later Leonard walks the corridors again, without a real destination, only to see where he ends up this time. As his karma has it, it’s the observatory deck. He almost leaves again, his stomach already protesting, when he hears a voice.

“Hey Bones. Come here. I wanna show you something.”

Leonard swallows and steps next to Jim, his eyes fixed to the ground.

He can feel fingers under his chin, a thumb gently stroking up and down.

“Hey. It’s okay. You’re fine.”

Leonard swallows, braces himself, and looks up. Blackness spreads out around him, vast and endless, and he can feel his panic rise, his breath coming short and fast. Then Jim’s hand is in his, squeezing, holding tight.

“This is safe. You are safe.”

“Sure. And one tiny crack in the hull, and our blood boils in thirteen seconds.”

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Jim shake his head.

“You sneak onboard a Starfleet ship, kill people and rescue me, all in space, and you’re afraid of dying because of a crack in the hull of this ship?”

“I can’t help my irrational fears, Jim.”

“But you’re still staying?”

He can hear Jim’s fear in the question, and he turns to look at him, squeezing his hand in return. “Under one condition.”

“And that would be?”

“Next time we hit a planet, you get me knitting needles. And yarn..”

Jim looks at him with an amused expression. “All the yarn in the galaxy, Bones.”

Leonard grins as Jim draws him close, starts to kiss him slowly. For now, he could really get used to this.

If he doesn’t look out of the windows.


End file.
